(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 40 years.

We have two daughters in their 30s.

I happily was a stay-at-home mom, and my husband was a busy physician. Although busy, he and I never missed a sporting or school event that our daughters participated in.

We traveled, gave them every opportunity in life, and they had a wonderful childhood.

Or so we thought.

My youngest informed me last night that she had some “childhood trauma” (she couldn’t give me an example) that she is going into therapy for.

She also informed me that her older sister told her that she had a horrible childhood.

My oldest has in the past been very disrespectful and dismissive of both my husband and me. She has never provided a reason for her attitude.

She is mother to our only grandchildren, whom we adore.

Could her father and I have gotten it so wrong?

I’m beyond devastated. Thoughts?

– Totally Confused Mom

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(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: Our son married a psychotherapist who is very controlling. From the beginning, she did not like me, which was obvious from her words and actions. She has convinced our son that I was a bad mother, and he hasn't spoken to me in more than four years. He also shuns every other member of our family.

We are heartbroken. We were a close family until she came into the picture, but my son allowed her to ruin it. I have tried to keep in touch with him, but he never replies. I have also talked to a therapist with no success. They and her family have blocked me from contacting them. I'm unable to accept this situation because my family and I love my son so much. Please help me. -- DISTRAUGHT MOTHER IN WEST VIRGINIA

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(no subject)

[conuly]

I'm a 35-year-old woman whose father refuses to get along with me no matter how hard I try. Our relationship was always strained due to the alcoholism he has struggled with since my childhood, made worse by the fact that I became an addict. I've been in recovery for a while, and I'm clean and sober now.

He and my mother took guardianship of my two sons, ages 12 and 7, because my disease rendered me unable to care for them at that time. I have mentioned getting my kids back after I acquire more clean time; neither of my parents wants that. I know Dad resents me deeply, both because he has my kids and also because of my addiction.

If I can forgive him for what his alcoholism has put me through, why can't he forgive me? I don't understand why he has to hate me. Believe me, he hates me! I just want him to treat me the same way he treats my older brother and sister. I need help with this situation. Counseling is not an option; I know he will refuse. -- HURTING IN MICHIGAN

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