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colorwheelQ. My sister’s in my COVID pod—and I’m starting to hate her: My sister’s family and mine formed a COVID pod back in March. We have four kids between us, all of whom got along well and are similar in age. We shared similar views on COVID safety and we live 10 minutes away, so creating a COVID pod seemed like a no-brainer.
Well, fast-forward 10 months, and I’m starting to hate my sister. Her latent anxiety and self-centeredness have really hit an all-time high. We wind up sniping at each other while our kids play in the yard. In a non-COVID time, I’d just scale back on our time together and let our kids go to someone else’s house. But I don’t feel comfortable interacting with other families (we live in a city full of people not taking COVID seriously) and I don’t want my kids to lose their only social outlet. I worry that if I let this keep going, we’ll say things to each other that we can’t take back. What should I do?
A: I wonder if you two can treat the sniping and the general resentment-through-cabin-fever as a totally understandable symptom of being cooped up together almost every day, rather than a terrible and shocking development you can’t acknowledge without permanent estrangement. “I don’t want to fight like this, and I don’t think you do either. I think it would help us both to structure some alone time while the kids are playing, so that when we do talk our nerves aren’t quite so jangled.” You could bring some headphones and listen to an audiobook or music during some of these play dates, saving more in-depth conversations for once or twice a week. That way, the kids can still see one another and burn off some energy, but you won’t continue to feel obligated to socialize every time the kids do.
Well, fast-forward 10 months, and I’m starting to hate my sister. Her latent anxiety and self-centeredness have really hit an all-time high. We wind up sniping at each other while our kids play in the yard. In a non-COVID time, I’d just scale back on our time together and let our kids go to someone else’s house. But I don’t feel comfortable interacting with other families (we live in a city full of people not taking COVID seriously) and I don’t want my kids to lose their only social outlet. I worry that if I let this keep going, we’ll say things to each other that we can’t take back. What should I do?
A: I wonder if you two can treat the sniping and the general resentment-through-cabin-fever as a totally understandable symptom of being cooped up together almost every day, rather than a terrible and shocking development you can’t acknowledge without permanent estrangement. “I don’t want to fight like this, and I don’t think you do either. I think it would help us both to structure some alone time while the kids are playing, so that when we do talk our nerves aren’t quite so jangled.” You could bring some headphones and listen to an audiobook or music during some of these play dates, saving more in-depth conversations for once or twice a week. That way, the kids can still see one another and burn off some energy, but you won’t continue to feel obligated to socialize every time the kids do.