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Boyfriend Disrespected by Ex-Wife
Jul. 23rd, 2020 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Annie: What advice would you give to a divorced man regarding "moving on"? My boyfriend and his ex-wife have been divorced for 10 years, yet she continues to manipulate him and behave spitefully toward him. She and their adult children show no consideration for my boyfriend's wishes. And I see him do a lot of tiptoeing because God forbid he upset the "posse." He tried to establish that he'd like to see his adult children in settings other than his ex-wife's home, but that rarely happens. And he is expected to still go to her house for birthday gatherings.
He has made some minor changes, which I hope, for the sake of his sanity, he adheres to. I suggested that he seek counseling, but to no avail. He puts his foot down, but as soon as she says "sorry" once, he picks his foot back up and goes back for more of the same disrespectful treatment. It is completely absurd that he thinks he has a good relationship with his ex or even with his adult children. The kids show him no respect.
I have learned I can't change anyone but myself, but how do you coexist with someone who, because he feels guilty, keeps punishing himself? It's not my place to tell him what to do, I have learned through my own counseling. When I try to help him work through the many incidents that occur, he tells me that I'm biased because I "don't like them." What I don't like, Annie, are their actions. They show such disrespect, and if they can't respect their own father, really, whom are they going to respect?
Could he end up taking this nonsense until the day he dies? Will he ever free himself? I'm afraid that without counseling, he will never truly just put his foot down, say what he needs to and free himself of this abuse. Enough is enough! -- Anonymously Bewildered
( Read more... )
He has made some minor changes, which I hope, for the sake of his sanity, he adheres to. I suggested that he seek counseling, but to no avail. He puts his foot down, but as soon as she says "sorry" once, he picks his foot back up and goes back for more of the same disrespectful treatment. It is completely absurd that he thinks he has a good relationship with his ex or even with his adult children. The kids show him no respect.
I have learned I can't change anyone but myself, but how do you coexist with someone who, because he feels guilty, keeps punishing himself? It's not my place to tell him what to do, I have learned through my own counseling. When I try to help him work through the many incidents that occur, he tells me that I'm biased because I "don't like them." What I don't like, Annie, are their actions. They show such disrespect, and if they can't respect their own father, really, whom are they going to respect?
Could he end up taking this nonsense until the day he dies? Will he ever free himself? I'm afraid that without counseling, he will never truly just put his foot down, say what he needs to and free himself of this abuse. Enough is enough! -- Anonymously Bewildered
( Read more... )