Brokenhearted in Florida

[conuly]

Dear Annie: Our daughter and her husband have two young children. Over the years, we have been very close to our grandsons.

We recently found out that our daughter has started a relationship with my son from a first marriage. Forty years ago, I gave up this son for adoption when he was 4 years old. This son contacted me when he was 28. I told him I felt he should have contacted me earlier and that I did not want to start a relationship at that time. I never heard from him again. He is now 44 years old.

We phoned our daughter as soon as we heard about this new relationship and told her we weren't too crazy about it. She became angry. They are adults and can have whatever relationship they want. We didn't forbid it. But they phoned us later and left a message on our answering machine saying we are "dead" to them and will "never see our grandsons again." We could hear the kids crying in the background.

My daughter will not speak to us at all. It has broken our hearts. How do we get our grandsons back into our life? -- Brokenhearted in Florida

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Judge John Hodgman on Inspecting Your Wife’s Garbage

[conuly]

Sherry writes: If I put a small shopping bag in our kitchen trash can, my husband will often take it out and search it to make sure I haven’t thrown away any receipts (he thinks they should all be shredded) or something salvageable. I believe he should trust in my ability to determine what is trash and what is not. Please order him to stop.

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