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ceretaDear Annie: I am the step-grandmother of a 7-year-old whom I consider my granddaughter. "Missy" does not have a relationship with her father (my husband's son), although we have been actively involved with her since she was an infant. Missy's mother subsequently had another child, now 3, with someone else.
We recently were informed that Missy cannot visit us on weekends without her little brother. According to their mother, he "cries all weekend when his big sister is gone."
My husband and I feel this woman is simply seeking a babysitter for the weekends.
We have resorted to elaborate reasons why we cannot have both kids, but I'm afraid we're running out of excuses. We have not seen Missy for weeks now, but my husband refuses to take the 3-year-old. What should we do? — Perplexed
Dear Perplexed: You may be right that Missy's mother is looking for free babysitting, but the price of saying no is rather steep. She seems perfectly willing to keep her away until you acquiesce, so you might reconsider and "adopt" the 3-year-old, as well. Missy might appreciate it. You also could try working out an arrangement that doesn't involve weekends, perhaps taking Missy out for ice cream on Wednesdays or picking her up from school. It wouldn't be the same, but at least you would remain in regular contact.
If there is any way to encourage your stepson to be more involved in his child's life, that would be a positive move. And also look into grandparents' rights in your state.
We recently were informed that Missy cannot visit us on weekends without her little brother. According to their mother, he "cries all weekend when his big sister is gone."
My husband and I feel this woman is simply seeking a babysitter for the weekends.
We have resorted to elaborate reasons why we cannot have both kids, but I'm afraid we're running out of excuses. We have not seen Missy for weeks now, but my husband refuses to take the 3-year-old. What should we do? — Perplexed
Dear Perplexed: You may be right that Missy's mother is looking for free babysitting, but the price of saying no is rather steep. She seems perfectly willing to keep her away until you acquiesce, so you might reconsider and "adopt" the 3-year-old, as well. Missy might appreciate it. You also could try working out an arrangement that doesn't involve weekends, perhaps taking Missy out for ice cream on Wednesdays or picking her up from school. It wouldn't be the same, but at least you would remain in regular contact.
If there is any way to encourage your stepson to be more involved in his child's life, that would be a positive move. And also look into grandparents' rights in your state.