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1. Dear Care and Feeding,
Growing up, I had tons of friends and was always on the go and immersed in extracurricular activities. My 7-year-old daughter, “Maisy,” simply isn’t interested in people. She has exactly three friends and would rather spend her time reading and studying the birds, squirrels, bugs, and plants in our backyard. She doesn’t have much use for cartoons, like other kids; she would sooner watch science and nature documentaries. I had her tested, and she’s not on the spectrum, so that’s not what Maisy’s problem is. I feel like she’s missing out on so much by not being more sociable. How can I convince her that being the smartest person in the room won’t do her a bit of good if people don’t like her because she has no idea how to interact with other humans?
—Emotional Intelligence Matters Too
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2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My 11-year-old son, “William,” has been interested in magic and illusions for about a year. For his last birthday, my husband and I got him a magic set. William had been greatly enjoying it until my moronic brother “Justin” said something disgusting to him that Justin insists was “just a joke.” After Easter, for which the entire family had gotten together, I came across William’s magic set in the garbage. I asked him why he’d thrown it away, and he said Justin had told him that all magicians are gay and that if he keeps doing magic, he will turn gay too. This upset him (unfortunately, the kids at his school have reached the phase where “gay” is used as an insult). I told him that what Uncle Justin said wasn’t true: People don’t “turn” LGBTQ+, they are born that way, and in any case, there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+. I then gave Justin a call.
My brother howled with laughter when I told him that William had thrown out his magic set and why. Justin claimed he’d said it, “just said it to mess with him.” I told him he needed to set the record straight with William, make it clear that he’d made it up, and confirm what I’d already told him about how being LGBTQ+ is not a bad thing. Justin claimed I was making too big a deal over it. He said William should take this as a lesson in learning not to believe everything people tell him. I told him that until he was ready to apologize and tell William the truth, we would be taking a break from seeing him, and I hung up. My parents think I’m in the wrong and that I’m making too much of “a harmless prank.” They are accusing me of causing problems in the family. I don’t think I am. My husband agrees with me and says he’ll support whatever I feel is right. Is this the best option, even if it gets me on the wrong side of my parents?
—Under No Illusions: My Brother Was Wrong
( Read more... )
1. Dear Care and Feeding,
Growing up, I had tons of friends and was always on the go and immersed in extracurricular activities. My 7-year-old daughter, “Maisy,” simply isn’t interested in people. She has exactly three friends and would rather spend her time reading and studying the birds, squirrels, bugs, and plants in our backyard. She doesn’t have much use for cartoons, like other kids; she would sooner watch science and nature documentaries. I had her tested, and she’s not on the spectrum, so that’s not what Maisy’s problem is. I feel like she’s missing out on so much by not being more sociable. How can I convince her that being the smartest person in the room won’t do her a bit of good if people don’t like her because she has no idea how to interact with other humans?
—Emotional Intelligence Matters Too
( Read more... )
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My 11-year-old son, “William,” has been interested in magic and illusions for about a year. For his last birthday, my husband and I got him a magic set. William had been greatly enjoying it until my moronic brother “Justin” said something disgusting to him that Justin insists was “just a joke.” After Easter, for which the entire family had gotten together, I came across William’s magic set in the garbage. I asked him why he’d thrown it away, and he said Justin had told him that all magicians are gay and that if he keeps doing magic, he will turn gay too. This upset him (unfortunately, the kids at his school have reached the phase where “gay” is used as an insult). I told him that what Uncle Justin said wasn’t true: People don’t “turn” LGBTQ+, they are born that way, and in any case, there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+. I then gave Justin a call.
My brother howled with laughter when I told him that William had thrown out his magic set and why. Justin claimed he’d said it, “just said it to mess with him.” I told him he needed to set the record straight with William, make it clear that he’d made it up, and confirm what I’d already told him about how being LGBTQ+ is not a bad thing. Justin claimed I was making too big a deal over it. He said William should take this as a lesson in learning not to believe everything people tell him. I told him that until he was ready to apologize and tell William the truth, we would be taking a break from seeing him, and I hung up. My parents think I’m in the wrong and that I’m making too much of “a harmless prank.” They are accusing me of causing problems in the family. I don’t think I am. My husband agrees with me and says he’ll support whatever I feel is right. Is this the best option, even if it gets me on the wrong side of my parents?
—Under No Illusions: My Brother Was Wrong
( Read more... )