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Letters about inlaws
May. 11th, 2025 05:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly1. Dear Prudence,
Every time my mother-in-law comes over, she goes through my cupboards and silverware drawer. She then rearranges the utensils and stacks my dishes the way she thinks they should go. She then takes all the towels out of my cupboards and re-folds them to what, according to her, is the “right” way.
I cannot tell you how infuriating this is. My husband says to just go along with it because it’s easier than arguing with her, and we can put everything back after she leaves. To add insult to injury, she’s enlisted our 5-year-old daughter in “helping” her “make things right” and turned it into a bonding activity with her. Now, if my daughter sees me putting away things my own way, she has even begun “correcting” me! I know this may seem unimportant, but I feel like I’m being undermined in my own home. How do I put a stop to this?
—It’s My Damn House!
( Read more... )
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2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband’s grandmother expressed shock and dismay when we showed her the nursery we put together for our child, who is due in August. She believes ordering things for a baby before it’s born is bad luck and brings up how we are inviting disaster each time she sees us. Both my husband and my mother-in-law just say to ignore it, but it’s beginning to bother me. What’s a good way to rid her of these hang-ups?
—It’s All In Her Head
( Read more... )
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3. ( Content note: child abuse )
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4. Dear Carolyn: Although my fiancé is an only child, he is part of a large, extended family. This family has traditions for everything — Easter, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Fourth of July, Super Bowl — down to which plates can be used, how the table can be set, the food allowed, etc.
As an only child, he feels immense pressure to please his mom and do all the things. I’ve initiated conversations about how we’ll spend holidays once we’re married or have kids — establishing some of our own traditions. My fiancé just looks like a deer in headlights, horrified at the prospect of upsetting the applecart.
I genuinely like his family, but I like my parents and siblings, too. I want us to find a way to celebrate with both sides — not all at once, obviously. But, oh, I should add that his mother doesn’t believe in unmarried couples spending holidays with his side, so we’ve had no holiday tryouts yet. Fiancé says we’ll figure it out once the time comes, but we are getting married in September, and, uh, Thanksgiving comes pretty quick after that. Am I right to be concerned, or am I blowing this up?
— Weighted Down
( Read more... )
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5. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother-in-law tells me my husband was sleeping through the night by the time he was a month old. He told me he expects that our baby should be able to do that too and that I am not doing the right thing by not putting our six-week old son on a regular schedule.
I believe a newborn is going to follow his own schedule. He isn’t going to fall into line with his Daddy’s expectations just because he thinks he should.
Shouldn’t a baby be let to follow his own schedule? --- FOLLOWING NATURE
( Read more... )
Every time my mother-in-law comes over, she goes through my cupboards and silverware drawer. She then rearranges the utensils and stacks my dishes the way she thinks they should go. She then takes all the towels out of my cupboards and re-folds them to what, according to her, is the “right” way.
I cannot tell you how infuriating this is. My husband says to just go along with it because it’s easier than arguing with her, and we can put everything back after she leaves. To add insult to injury, she’s enlisted our 5-year-old daughter in “helping” her “make things right” and turned it into a bonding activity with her. Now, if my daughter sees me putting away things my own way, she has even begun “correcting” me! I know this may seem unimportant, but I feel like I’m being undermined in my own home. How do I put a stop to this?
—It’s My Damn House!
( Read more... )
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband’s grandmother expressed shock and dismay when we showed her the nursery we put together for our child, who is due in August. She believes ordering things for a baby before it’s born is bad luck and brings up how we are inviting disaster each time she sees us. Both my husband and my mother-in-law just say to ignore it, but it’s beginning to bother me. What’s a good way to rid her of these hang-ups?
—It’s All In Her Head
( Read more... )
3. ( Content note: child abuse )
4. Dear Carolyn: Although my fiancé is an only child, he is part of a large, extended family. This family has traditions for everything — Easter, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Fourth of July, Super Bowl — down to which plates can be used, how the table can be set, the food allowed, etc.
As an only child, he feels immense pressure to please his mom and do all the things. I’ve initiated conversations about how we’ll spend holidays once we’re married or have kids — establishing some of our own traditions. My fiancé just looks like a deer in headlights, horrified at the prospect of upsetting the applecart.
I genuinely like his family, but I like my parents and siblings, too. I want us to find a way to celebrate with both sides — not all at once, obviously. But, oh, I should add that his mother doesn’t believe in unmarried couples spending holidays with his side, so we’ve had no holiday tryouts yet. Fiancé says we’ll figure it out once the time comes, but we are getting married in September, and, uh, Thanksgiving comes pretty quick after that. Am I right to be concerned, or am I blowing this up?
— Weighted Down
( Read more... )
5. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother-in-law tells me my husband was sleeping through the night by the time he was a month old. He told me he expects that our baby should be able to do that too and that I am not doing the right thing by not putting our six-week old son on a regular schedule.
I believe a newborn is going to follow his own schedule. He isn’t going to fall into line with his Daddy’s expectations just because he thinks he should.
Shouldn’t a baby be let to follow his own schedule? --- FOLLOWING NATURE
( Read more... )