Feb. 4th, 2025

conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Dear Prudence,

I’m 37, the eldest of four, and have been estranged from my 28-year-old and 26-year-old paternal half siblings for about 10 years. (I have one full sibling, we’re close.) I’m getting married in May and can’t stop thinking about getting in touch. Not to invite them—they hate our father and I don’t—but because family is on my mind. Their mother claims our father was violent with them and thus poisoned them against him. All he did was spank them. It feels SO distant to me now, but I confess I don’t want to reach out solely for hatchet burying. I have immense anger toward them. Their mother altered the course of my life, leading to a seven-year estrangement from my dad that ended when I reached out. So, I’ve done it once, should I do it again? Should I try to overcome this sibling estrangement and pursue a relationship? Is it worth it?

—Distressed Bride-to-Be


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Dear Eric: My mother has been horribly critical of everyone all my life, including myself. I’m 50, and am constantly being criticized, often in front of others, for the way I laugh, that she can hear me chew food, my sleeves, “at your age” are too short, and I wear slacks too often.

The fact that I have an informed opinion on current events comes under fire. As a result, I rarely bring up anything in her presence. But then she accuses me of ignoring her.

Truth is, I’m sick of putting up with the criticism that will follow anything I say or do in her presence. I’ve limited time with her, but my only sibling lives across the country and it’s too expensive for her and her family to come home as much as they’d like. My sister gets her share of criticism over the phone.

Nothing we’ve said will get it through our mother’s head, that it’s sometimes kinder to just keep your mouth shut if all you have to offer is useless and mean criticism.

I dread the day she becomes dependent on me, the only family in the area, to take her shopping and on errands and for any care. I know already, I won’t be able to do one thing right.

– Stuck


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Dear Annie: Lately I feel very bored with my life. On paper, my life looks great. I have a decent job that pays the bills, a circle of friends I can count on, and a daily routine that's steady and predictable. But lately, I find myself wondering if "good enough" is really enough.

For example, I've been at my job for a few years now, and while I don't hate it, I'm not excited by it either. I wake up, do the work and come home feeling like I've just checked a box for the day. My friendships are solid, but I feel like we're all stuck in surface-level conversations, as if we're avoiding the bigger questions.

It's not that anything is wrong -- and I feel guilty for even questioning my life when so many people are struggling. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm stuck in a rut, living a life that's just OK when it could be something more.

Is it normal to feel this way even when nothing is falling apart? How do I figure out if there's something missing -- or if I'm just overthinking everything? -- Stuck Between Fine and Fulfilled


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