Wow, this dude....

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

I had a marriage with my first wife that was cold, sexually unfulfilling, and controlling for years. I discreetly found a woman outside our marriage who was interested in ways my ex wasn’t. When my ex found out, she told our kids and created a messy divorce. My girlfriend got unexpectedly pregnant, and I had to move out of state for her and adjust custody. I saw my kids for holidays and vacations but my ex badmouthed me to them all the time and encouraged them to be bratty and badly behaved when they visited. They never were kind to my girlfriend and never gave her any flexibility about adjusting to becoming a stepmom. I always believed it would get better when they became adults, recognized my ex’s toxic behavior, and understood that adults have sexual needs. This fall, my younger daughter had my first grandchild. I planned to visit at Christmas, but she has announced she’s inviting her mom and sister, that I have to pick a different day, and that my son and girlfriend are not welcome. This is my first grandchild and I haven’t even met him yet. How do I talk her out of this?

—Grandfather

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