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Whole Man Disposal Brigade!
Nov. 26th, 2022 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly1. Dear Amy: I am a married woman in my mid-60s, now-retired. My sister (who is divorced) invited me on a " girl's trip" to hike the Scottish Highlands. We live on opposite coasts and do not see each other often.
When I told my husband about the trip, he gave me major pushback. Some of his objections are:
1. I would be spending our money on a vacation just for myself. (We are not rich, but this would be affordable.)
2. As a married woman, I should be reserving my travels for my husband, not with single women.
3. This will only lead to other trips without him.
4. He does not "believe" in girls’ trips.
My husband is very controlling. He would definitely make my life miserable if I accepted this invitation, so I turned it down, since I have to live with him. But what is more upsetting is that instead of being happy for me for getting an opportunity to do something fun and enriching, he is resentful and obstructionist.
He did say that he will only agree if he comes along, despite the fact that he has never wanted to do a trip like this! Am I in need of counseling? We have been married for 30 years and have had our ups and downs. I'd love to hear your take.
– Stuck Sister
( Read more... )
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2. DEAR ABBY: I have been married for five years. My husband and I are both past middle age and have been married before (me twice; three times for him). For much of our early marriage, my husband was ill. He required several surgeries and a lot of care. I never complained or felt burdened, yet the smallest ache or pain I have is, apparently, a "pain" for him.
As time has gone on, there are some things in our marriage that I frankly don't understand. We celebrate Father's Day and his birthday, but never Mother's Day or my birthday. My husband is sweet and charming to everyone, but often ignores or becomes very angry with me.
He has called me things he promised never to say. He makes excuses for not wanting to do things together. He spends upwards of 12 hours a day outside and seems to want to avoid me. He defends his friends when they say disrespectful things about me, citing the fact that he "doesn't want to lose old friends." He believes that whatever is said by others -- friends, family, etc. -- is my problem and I should just accept it. We have seen a marriage counselor and it has not helped us. Help me understand, please. -- UNDERVALUED IN NEBRASKA
( Read more... )
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3. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I honestly don’t know if he does it just to bug me, or if he has a problem, but my husband loves, and I mean loves, to tell me about his daily poo successes. I tell him I am not at all interested, but that doesn’t seem to stop him.
I asked his mother about this, and she just laughed and said this is what he has done since he was a little boy and he would do it to get under her skin. She said the best thing to do is just ignore it, and he’ll stop. But I do, and he doesn’t.
What do I have to do to convince my husband I’m really not interested in his daily bowel functions? --- DON’T NEED OR WANT TO KNOW
( Read more... )
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4. DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a big conspiracy theorist. He watches these shows and then comes to tell me all the half-cocked stories that he has heard about the End of Days, aliens and other extreme things that he believes are happening in the world. I have no interest in hearing any of this. It makes me frustrated, but he insists that I sit with him and listen to whatever he just spent hours watching on YouTube. I have had enough. When I push back, he sulks. How can I preserve my sanity as he seems to be losing his? -- Need A Firewall
( Read more... )
When I told my husband about the trip, he gave me major pushback. Some of his objections are:
1. I would be spending our money on a vacation just for myself. (We are not rich, but this would be affordable.)
2. As a married woman, I should be reserving my travels for my husband, not with single women.
3. This will only lead to other trips without him.
4. He does not "believe" in girls’ trips.
My husband is very controlling. He would definitely make my life miserable if I accepted this invitation, so I turned it down, since I have to live with him. But what is more upsetting is that instead of being happy for me for getting an opportunity to do something fun and enriching, he is resentful and obstructionist.
He did say that he will only agree if he comes along, despite the fact that he has never wanted to do a trip like this! Am I in need of counseling? We have been married for 30 years and have had our ups and downs. I'd love to hear your take.
– Stuck Sister
( Read more... )
2. DEAR ABBY: I have been married for five years. My husband and I are both past middle age and have been married before (me twice; three times for him). For much of our early marriage, my husband was ill. He required several surgeries and a lot of care. I never complained or felt burdened, yet the smallest ache or pain I have is, apparently, a "pain" for him.
As time has gone on, there are some things in our marriage that I frankly don't understand. We celebrate Father's Day and his birthday, but never Mother's Day or my birthday. My husband is sweet and charming to everyone, but often ignores or becomes very angry with me.
He has called me things he promised never to say. He makes excuses for not wanting to do things together. He spends upwards of 12 hours a day outside and seems to want to avoid me. He defends his friends when they say disrespectful things about me, citing the fact that he "doesn't want to lose old friends." He believes that whatever is said by others -- friends, family, etc. -- is my problem and I should just accept it. We have seen a marriage counselor and it has not helped us. Help me understand, please. -- UNDERVALUED IN NEBRASKA
( Read more... )
3. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I honestly don’t know if he does it just to bug me, or if he has a problem, but my husband loves, and I mean loves, to tell me about his daily poo successes. I tell him I am not at all interested, but that doesn’t seem to stop him.
I asked his mother about this, and she just laughed and said this is what he has done since he was a little boy and he would do it to get under her skin. She said the best thing to do is just ignore it, and he’ll stop. But I do, and he doesn’t.
What do I have to do to convince my husband I’m really not interested in his daily bowel functions? --- DON’T NEED OR WANT TO KNOW
( Read more... )
4. DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a big conspiracy theorist. He watches these shows and then comes to tell me all the half-cocked stories that he has heard about the End of Days, aliens and other extreme things that he believes are happening in the world. I have no interest in hearing any of this. It makes me frustrated, but he insists that I sit with him and listen to whatever he just spent hours watching on YouTube. I have had enough. When I push back, he sulks. How can I preserve my sanity as he seems to be losing his? -- Need A Firewall
( Read more... )