r/AmITheAsshole AITA for ordering pizza at a vegetarian wedding?

[lemonsharks]

Question:
I(36m) was a groomsman for my friend Sara's(34F) wedding this past week. I'm only acquaintances with the groom but because I've known Sara for nearly 20 years she wanted me in the party. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression that has to be taken at a certain time of the day and also requires food, so I asked Sara what time the food would be served.

Now this is a vegetarian wedding, I'm not vegetarian but I have no problem not eating meat for a meal especially when it comes to supporting my friend. The only issue I had was when I found out the size of the meals. The entire course consisted of a side salad, a side of corn, and a side of broccoli.. If this were only for a few hours that wouldn't be a problem, but because the wedding party has to arrive before everyone, between the ceremony and shuffling to the reception the whole event was going to be over 8 hours and I knew there was no way a small salad and a few tablespoons of corn and broccoli were going to hold me over(I'm 6'2 185lbs fwiw). When Sara told me what they were serving I said something like, "Oh will there be another entre?" and she immediately got defensive so I hushed myself before causing any further tensions.

Normally I would have been straight forward about all this, but I could see she was already stressed and I didn't want to add to it, so I decided during the reception dinner that I was going to covertly order a pizza, meet the guy outside, and just sneak in and out here and there to grab a few slices from my car. I told my friend this and of course word got around to some of the other party members. Turns out I wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable going so many hours with little food, so by the time I placed the order there were about 12 other people(all from the wedding party) throwing down. I ordered 4 larges and kept them in my car so people could just kind of come and go and grab some whenever they were hungry. Nobody really seemed to notice anything until Sara couldn't find the groom anywhere. She had her mom help her find him and as you can guess she found him out by my car eating pizza..

Well to say she blew up was an understatement. She said I embarrassed her, made her feel cheap, said I only did this because it was a vegetarian wedding(3 of the pizzas had meat on them). I tried to apologize explaining the situation, but she was having none of it. The other party members that were eating the pizza were all silent, I was thrown to the wolves. She told me to leave while her mom stared daggers at me. It's been 4 days and she hasn't responded to me. Her husband did reach out to apologize for all the "confusion" but the majority of her friends(even some who ate the pizza) are telling me I'm an AH and what I did is unforgivable as she'll always remember her wedding as "not being good enough" because of my "stunt". AITA?


Top answer:

Was that ALL the food they served?? In my country, weddings have not one but multiple buffets (charcuterie, breads, sweets, confections, hot dishes….), waiters going around with trays of canapés, cake…

This is so odd. We value abundance here and a person leaving hungry would be the most embarrassing thing ever. If she planned that little food, yes, it’s her fault people wanted to enjoy her event and still be full. NTA !!!! Even tho in normal circumstances it would be very unpolite to order outside food at a reception, I think health and being hungry is a good exception.

People can get severely sick if they don’t eat enough (hi, hypoglycemic here), and it’s not a “vegetarian” problem, it’s a catering planning problem. It’s a long ass event, there’s time in there to fit two meals. Awful not to think about the well-being of her guests.

And people who ate the pizza calling you asshole, hypocrisy much?

OP Clarification:
I'm going to hop on this to reply because unfortunately I'd go over the character limit in the OP. To clear some things the food was from a catering company, but it was not buffet style. We were summoned by table and each person received one plate. The entirety of that plate was the salad, broccoli and corn. The salad was spruced up a bit and the broccoli and corn were prepared and seasoned, but that was literally all each person got for their plate. Cake was served after dinner for every person to get one slice each. I didn't have an issue with the food itself, I just didn't think it would be enough for me because by that point I had not eaten in hours and needed to take my medication. if I don't eat enough food with my meds I get really nauseous and it becomes a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u5st0i/aita_for_ordering_pizza_at_a_vegetarian_wedding/