(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: My daughter is marrying a widower, "Hank," with three children. The problem is with "Gail," the mother of his late wife.

My daughter includes Gail in the daily household activities, including holidays and birthdays. The children have pictures of their mom (Hank's late wife) hung up in their home and speak often about her.

Gail is not very nice to my daughter. She purposely calls her the wrong name. She says she does this because my daughter's name reminds her of her daughter.

Gail has done other things — such as pull the children out of school after being told not to. She has taken them to doctors and dentists for appointments without talking to my daughter or their father. She has been asked to back off some. My daughter understands that Gail jumped in and helped for a year and that it might be difficult for her to turn over these responsibilities, so she has been patient with Gail. But they have been together for 18 months now and live together as a family.

The issue is that my daughter decided not to invite Gail to the wedding. This is intended to be a special day about the bride and groom. My daughter was concerned that Gail might speak ill of her to other guests, as has happened on other occasions. The invitations were sent out, and Gail immediately wanted to know where hers was. My daughter explained, as nicely as possible, that she was not invited. My daughter was immediately met with mean, hateful comments.

Gail then called the grandkids' paternal grandmother — Hank's mom — and complained to her for 40 minutes.

The wedding had to be rescheduled due to COVID-19, and the delay has put the issue back to square one. Gail has started all over, assuming she will get an invitation. Is my daughter wrong to exclude her? — Wedding Drama

( Oh, Annie, no! )

Carolyn Hax: They ‘really cannot stand’ their rambunctious grandchild

[conuly]

Hello, Carolyn: My husband and I really cannot stand our grandchild. The child is loud, intrusive, screams, runs, climbs on the furniture, demands attention, interrupts, cannot sit still . . . and she's A GIRL!!!! Usually this behavior is associated with ADHD boys. We find even 20-minute video chats exhausting. All we want are two-minute videos and still photos, and to send checks for birthdays and Christmas. The other grandparents seem to be just fine with, and perhaps even adore and encourage, the child's behavior, so we're glad to defer all the holidays to them.

Can you suggest a tactful way for us to keep our sanity? It's possible she'll improve with time or medication, so we don't want to shut the door completely.

— Can't Stand Our Grandchild

( Read more... )

Accusations of Abuse Lead to Estrangement

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old daughter has stopped talking to me. She said I need counseling to discuss the abuse during her childhood. I asked, "What abuse?" She won't say! I can't think of any. She was never spanked. She was given anything she asked for and allowed to join any club or sport she was interested in.

The only thing she finally mentioned was that my husband and I had arguments. We didn't argue often. I'm at a loss. Should I step back and leave her alone? I send texts and call her once a week. Most go unanswered. When she does answer, she asks if I have started counseling. Please advise. -- CUT OFF IN INDIANA

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