AARP: Some unsolicited advice on boundaries

[ambyr]

This isn't actually an advice column letter, but I was fascinated to see AARP Magazine (formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons, an organization for people 55+) providing unsolicited advice about No, Really, You Need To Respect Your Adult Kids' Boundaries in much firmer tones than a lot of columnists are willing to use. If this being not strictly speaking on-topic is a problem I can delete it, but it's an issue that comes up so often in advice columns that it seemed pertinent. (And hey, it does quote an advice columnist!)

( How to be a good guest in your adult child's home )

(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: My husband of decades has a habit that I don't care for, and I can't seem to make him understand the problem. I have run out of ideas, have asked counselors and anyone I can that might have an answer or suggestion. I am desperate to see whether you or your readers have any ideas.

The issue is this: If he sees anything around and he doesn't recognize it, he throws it away. If you are right there, then you can stop him. Otherwise, you're out of luck. I check the garbage for items regularly.

The last things he tossed out that I didn't catch were my two photo albums from my childhood. My mom, dad and great-grandma worked on those two albums. Needless to say, the albums contained pictures of many individuals who are gone. I can't seem to forgive him and get over it. It's mostly grieving for what I can never see ever again. I thought I'd made him understand that these sentimental items are mine and that he has no right to throw something away without checking with me. Please help... I have tried counseling, both me alone and us together. I have left notes on items from matter-of-fact to rather nasty. I have tried explaining, every day, not to throw my things away. Please tell me how to deal with this problem. I am at my wit's end! — Missing My Things

( Annie, seriously? )