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Nov. 9th, 2020 06:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Care and Feeding,
My son has been married for more than 10 years. We’ve never seen eye to eye, but I never disliked his wife, “Sally,” until his son came along. A lovely young woman, “Allison,” gave my son the gift of a son, and of course she and the boy are the light of our lives now, and part of our family. Sally has never been polite/accepting of Allison, and though she’s never been rude to the boy (of course, my son would never allow it!), she’s never shown any motherly instincts or tried to bond with him. My son sees his boy two to three times a week at Allison’s home and is an excellent, involved father.
My grandson had his fourth birthday during quarantine, so we made the family gathering a bit of a party for him. We haven’t had a picture together for more than a year, so we decided to take one to commemorate the family being together again. As the focus was my grandson, I obviously asked Sally to kindly step out of the picture so that his family would be pictured for his fourth birthday. She unkindly refused and even tried to drag my son into it, who obviously didn’t support her and pointed out she was being disrespectful. She got very quiet and said she wanted to leave, and when my son said he wouldn’t, she called a cab and went home alone.
Since then, Sally hasn’t reached out or made any attempts at reconciliation at all. I would like an apology, but I would settle for her to publicly acknowledge that she ruined my grandson’s party and acted like the child herself. She’s never tried to be family to the child, and then she gets offended when it’s acknowledged that she’s not family. My son says to let it slide for his sake and pick my battles with her, but I think that’s letting her off too easy. She has not even tried to talk to me since the party, and I fear my son is too easy on her as he lives with her most of the time despite the child, so I think she needs a reality check, but I don’t want to make things more difficult for my son unless it needs to be. What is the best way to get through to her that she needs an attitude check and should improve her behavior? She couldn’t have children, so my grandson being in her life should have been a cause for celebration and gratefulness, so I have no idea what she’s thinking and have nowhere to start!
—Family Is Everything
( Read more... )
My son has been married for more than 10 years. We’ve never seen eye to eye, but I never disliked his wife, “Sally,” until his son came along. A lovely young woman, “Allison,” gave my son the gift of a son, and of course she and the boy are the light of our lives now, and part of our family. Sally has never been polite/accepting of Allison, and though she’s never been rude to the boy (of course, my son would never allow it!), she’s never shown any motherly instincts or tried to bond with him. My son sees his boy two to three times a week at Allison’s home and is an excellent, involved father.
My grandson had his fourth birthday during quarantine, so we made the family gathering a bit of a party for him. We haven’t had a picture together for more than a year, so we decided to take one to commemorate the family being together again. As the focus was my grandson, I obviously asked Sally to kindly step out of the picture so that his family would be pictured for his fourth birthday. She unkindly refused and even tried to drag my son into it, who obviously didn’t support her and pointed out she was being disrespectful. She got very quiet and said she wanted to leave, and when my son said he wouldn’t, she called a cab and went home alone.
Since then, Sally hasn’t reached out or made any attempts at reconciliation at all. I would like an apology, but I would settle for her to publicly acknowledge that she ruined my grandson’s party and acted like the child herself. She’s never tried to be family to the child, and then she gets offended when it’s acknowledged that she’s not family. My son says to let it slide for his sake and pick my battles with her, but I think that’s letting her off too easy. She has not even tried to talk to me since the party, and I fear my son is too easy on her as he lives with her most of the time despite the child, so I think she needs a reality check, but I don’t want to make things more difficult for my son unless it needs to be. What is the best way to get through to her that she needs an attitude check and should improve her behavior? She couldn’t have children, so my grandson being in her life should have been a cause for celebration and gratefulness, so I have no idea what she’s thinking and have nowhere to start!
—Family Is Everything
( Read more... )