Carolyn Hax: If your shiftless fiance won’t take out the trash, put him on the curb

[conuly]

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I love my fiance and until recently thought we had a wonderful partnership. We've lived together for eight years and he makes more money and works longer hours, so I do almost all the housework. He's not only kind and thoughtful but always seemed appreciative of the work I do around the house.

Recently I was hospitalized for two weeks. When I came home I found he had never once walked our dog — just let the poor thing out into our tiny yard, and he didn't clean up. The house was an absolute wreck, he didn't cook or clean anything, left pizza boxes stacked on the counter, and dirty laundry piled on the laundry room floor. I was still recovering and that was kind of a nightmare to come home to.

I asked him why he didn't do anything, and he said he's no good at that stuff and knew I'd want to do it "the right way" when I got back.

We moved in together right out of college so he's never taken care of a place by himself. I asked him if he wanted to learn, but he said he doesn't see a real problem with the shape the house was in. Would you consider this a big enough issue to delay our summer wedding?

— Still in Shock

( Read more... )