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Oct. 1st, 2019 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom has been very clingy and needy towards me for my entire life. While I know this is normal to an extent, it’s now getting to the point where it’s just too much.
I’m now married and live out-of-town. My mom will call me at least a few times a week and ask me if I love her. The answer is always, “Of course I do, Mom.” Sometimes she asks me to, “Prove it,” but I’m not sure how to do that as I have been through this routine multiple times with her.
She also takes great offense ─ even now ─ if I make a decision without her. It could be something as simple as buying a new blender for our kitchen because the old one broke. If I do that without consulting her on, “The best one to buy,” she ends up hurt that I don’t, “Care about her wisdom.”
In this same vein, my mother is hostile to my husband simply because she did not pick him out for me. She often says he is a, “Nice guy,” but, “Not the right one for me.”
I could go on and on about her. I have done my best to accommodate her while also asking her to please respect my privacy, but nothing has worked. The more I try to back away ─ even just a little ─ the more she tightens her grip.
What can I do about this, short of cutting her off completely? --- CAN’T DEAL WITH MY MOM
( NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL TO ANY EXTENT! )
I’m now married and live out-of-town. My mom will call me at least a few times a week and ask me if I love her. The answer is always, “Of course I do, Mom.” Sometimes she asks me to, “Prove it,” but I’m not sure how to do that as I have been through this routine multiple times with her.
She also takes great offense ─ even now ─ if I make a decision without her. It could be something as simple as buying a new blender for our kitchen because the old one broke. If I do that without consulting her on, “The best one to buy,” she ends up hurt that I don’t, “Care about her wisdom.”
In this same vein, my mother is hostile to my husband simply because she did not pick him out for me. She often says he is a, “Nice guy,” but, “Not the right one for me.”
I could go on and on about her. I have done my best to accommodate her while also asking her to please respect my privacy, but nothing has worked. The more I try to back away ─ even just a little ─ the more she tightens her grip.
What can I do about this, short of cutting her off completely? --- CAN’T DEAL WITH MY MOM
( NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL TO ANY EXTENT! )