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No thank you, I will take the bear
Jan. 24th, 2025 04:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly1. DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 67-year-old man who works out regularly at a gym. The gym is open 24/7, and members have a key fob to enter since it is not always staffed.
I was exercising at 9 p.m., and the only other person there was a young, attractive woman, probably in her 40s. We exchanged pleasantries. When I was finished with my workout, I realized I did not feel comfortable leaving a young woman alone there at night. I was especially concerned about her walking out to her car by herself.
After my workout, I sat on a bench near the door, waiting for her to finish so I could make sure she got to her car all right. Miss Manners, I did not keep talking to her while she finished exercising; I just looked at my phone quietly. I did nothing untoward to her.
As she left the building, she said, "Have a good night." Then I watched her from inside the gym to make sure she got in her car safely. After she drove off, I left. I intentionally waited until her car drove away before leaving so she didn't think I was trying to follow her.
Several days later, the gym owner approached me and said that when I'm finished exercising, I need to leave immediately and not linger. He said this was for the safety of all members.
Safety! That's exactly why I was "lingering"!
Did I do something wrong here? Should a man not try to keep a woman safe? I thought I was being chivalrous.
( Read more... )
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2. What is the rule about looking at women in public? As a red-blooded male, I would like to stare, but of course that’s rude and possibly antisocial. In the past, when I’ve taken a quick glance and got caught, I was given sharp, disapproving looks from the woman and, often, some bystanders.
I’ve always been a loner, so I didn’t always get clued in on proper etiquette. When I married, I asked male co-workers what to do about looking at women, considering my new status. One said, ‘‘You’ve got to smell the roses along the way.’’ I took that to heart and continued to ogle women. This eventually led to my divorce.
When women wear tight pants, it seems unfair: They are very sexy, but men are not allowed to look. What do women prefer in this situation? I want to do the right thing. — Name Withheld
( Read more... )
I was exercising at 9 p.m., and the only other person there was a young, attractive woman, probably in her 40s. We exchanged pleasantries. When I was finished with my workout, I realized I did not feel comfortable leaving a young woman alone there at night. I was especially concerned about her walking out to her car by herself.
After my workout, I sat on a bench near the door, waiting for her to finish so I could make sure she got to her car all right. Miss Manners, I did not keep talking to her while she finished exercising; I just looked at my phone quietly. I did nothing untoward to her.
As she left the building, she said, "Have a good night." Then I watched her from inside the gym to make sure she got in her car safely. After she drove off, I left. I intentionally waited until her car drove away before leaving so she didn't think I was trying to follow her.
Several days later, the gym owner approached me and said that when I'm finished exercising, I need to leave immediately and not linger. He said this was for the safety of all members.
Safety! That's exactly why I was "lingering"!
Did I do something wrong here? Should a man not try to keep a woman safe? I thought I was being chivalrous.
( Read more... )
2. What is the rule about looking at women in public? As a red-blooded male, I would like to stare, but of course that’s rude and possibly antisocial. In the past, when I’ve taken a quick glance and got caught, I was given sharp, disapproving looks from the woman and, often, some bystanders.
I’ve always been a loner, so I didn’t always get clued in on proper etiquette. When I married, I asked male co-workers what to do about looking at women, considering my new status. One said, ‘‘You’ve got to smell the roses along the way.’’ I took that to heart and continued to ogle women. This eventually led to my divorce.
When women wear tight pants, it seems unfair: They are very sexy, but men are not allowed to look. What do women prefer in this situation? I want to do the right thing. — Name Withheld
( Read more... )