Dear Prudence: Avocado Disposal Dispute

[minoanmiss]

Sometimes even Prudence needs a little help. This week’s tricky situation is below. Submit your comments about how to approach the situation here to Jenée, and then look back for the final answer here on Friday. ( Read more... )

Unsolicited parenting advice: Just Say No

[conuly]

1. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter-in-law’s parents got a sandbox for our mutual grandkids to play in this summer. I would never let our kids have one because I know how dangerous they can be. Critters get into them and if the sand gets wet it can get moldy. I remember one of my neighbors growing up got ringworm for the one they had.

My son tells me they keep the thing covered overnight and whenever the kids aren’t in it and they rake it out before each time the kids get into it, but I think it’s just asking for trouble.

I know my son and his wife are good parents, but why would such good parents let their kids play in such a germ factory? --- NOT SAFE IN THE SAND

( Read more... )

******

2. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Unlike his parents, my husband and I waited until after we were married for a few years to have children. So when our son was born in April I was 10 years older than my mother-in-law was when she had her first baby.

All throughout my pregnancy, my mother-in-law was full of advice for me on what’s best for me and the baby, and from the minute our son arrived, she has been telling me what I should do for her grandson and exactly how it should be done.

She is practically obsessed with some things being done like they were 35 years ago when my husband was born. She has her way of swaddling, bathing, feeding, dressing, and everything else you can do for a baby. And at least half of it is different from how I am doing it, based on what I’ve learned and continue to learn as I go along. She says I rely too much on what I find online, and should check everything I’m doing with our pediatrician before I do some harm to my own baby.

I appreciate her wanting to help, but her help is causing me more stress than if I didn’t have her “help” the two days a week she’s over at our house.

I know that my mother-in-law means well, and honestly we can use some help, but I would prefer it to not include constantly being told how wrong I am in everything I’m doing.

Is that unreasonable? --- MIL DOESN’T ALWAYS KNOW BEST

( Read more... )

******************

3. Dear Care and Feeding,

I live in a major city and walk/use public transportation daily to get my young kids around. So frequently people stop me to tell me how to parent.

They’ll say that the baby needs more layers in the winter, that my daughter kneeling on the bus seat isn’t safe, that my son needs more attention from me, etc. I do not want to get into an altercation and I want to model behavior that is in line with my values of how you talk to people. And yet, I’m often caught off guard with how to respond. Often it’s a smile, a nod, a “Thank you” even though it’s never helpful feedback and it’s always invasive. What are some of the ways to approach this sort of thing?

—No, Thank You

( Read more... )