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Sep. 18th, 2021 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Carolyn: My mom has verbally and emotionally abused me since childhood. She has been in and out of mental health treatment, but never sticks around long when therapists or doctors start saying things she doesn’t want to hear (a.k.a. the truth). I have worked hard to be financially independent, live far away, and set boundaries I can live with so that I can still have a relationship with my dad, who I am very close to.
Long story short: I got engaged, my mom fought my fiance and me at every step of planning our wedding (no bridal shower — gasp! no registry — how could you?!, etc.) then the pandemic happened, we scrapped all those plans, and are throwing together an even more intimate gathering in my parents’ backyard.
I just told my family I plan to have only my dad walk me down the aisle, rather than both parents. My mom threatened to sabotage our entire wedding, end her own marriage to my father if he goes along with it, and through my sister — who we've taken to calling the hostage negotiator — issued a set of demands. Chief among those demands is for us to acknowledge that my mother feels “totally unloved, disrespected, unimportant, and unaccepted” and we should supply options for how to make her feel special and celebrated … at my wedding.
Any suggestions for handling that? We’d cancel the whole thing if it weren’t so important to have my dad there.
— Bride
( Read more... )
Long story short: I got engaged, my mom fought my fiance and me at every step of planning our wedding (no bridal shower — gasp! no registry — how could you?!, etc.) then the pandemic happened, we scrapped all those plans, and are throwing together an even more intimate gathering in my parents’ backyard.
I just told my family I plan to have only my dad walk me down the aisle, rather than both parents. My mom threatened to sabotage our entire wedding, end her own marriage to my father if he goes along with it, and through my sister — who we've taken to calling the hostage negotiator — issued a set of demands. Chief among those demands is for us to acknowledge that my mother feels “totally unloved, disrespected, unimportant, and unaccepted” and we should supply options for how to make her feel special and celebrated … at my wedding.
Any suggestions for handling that? We’d cancel the whole thing if it weren’t so important to have my dad there.
— Bride
( Read more... )