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May. 1st, 2020
Carolyn Hax: Not Venting, Actually Asking
May. 1st, 2020 02:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
green_grrlFrom today’s chat.
Q: Not Venting, Actually Asking
Dear Carolyn, My office moved to remote-only work about five weeks ago. In our last weekly team meeting, my supervisor issued a reminder that everybody be patient and understanding of missed deadlines on the part of coworkers X and Y, who have young kids at home. Her tone was lighthearted but she really meant it and I felt personally targeted because I have been known to send nudges when work comes in late and causes delays on my end. My supervisor's lighthearted "PSA" really ticked me off and I am trying to get a handle on my feelings. Yes, I get that this time is very difficult for people with kids -- I see reminders of this all the time. But as I see it, there is a direct line between having kids and the reality that they will be disruptive, and people ought to plan ahead for that. I do not have kids, and one of the reasons is that I am a terrible multitasker. I needed to be childless to find the success I wanted in this career. If I had cared more about having children than the career, I would have done so and not taken on work that had such strict deadlines. Under normal circumstances (everyone in the office), I don't feel this irritation but I am just wondering why exactly people with kids are being given a get-out-of-jail-free card as we are all trying to do our best work in the time of COVID.
( Answer from Carolyn )
Q: Not Venting, Actually Asking
Dear Carolyn, My office moved to remote-only work about five weeks ago. In our last weekly team meeting, my supervisor issued a reminder that everybody be patient and understanding of missed deadlines on the part of coworkers X and Y, who have young kids at home. Her tone was lighthearted but she really meant it and I felt personally targeted because I have been known to send nudges when work comes in late and causes delays on my end. My supervisor's lighthearted "PSA" really ticked me off and I am trying to get a handle on my feelings. Yes, I get that this time is very difficult for people with kids -- I see reminders of this all the time. But as I see it, there is a direct line between having kids and the reality that they will be disruptive, and people ought to plan ahead for that. I do not have kids, and one of the reasons is that I am a terrible multitasker. I needed to be childless to find the success I wanted in this career. If I had cared more about having children than the career, I would have done so and not taken on work that had such strict deadlines. Under normal circumstances (everyone in the office), I don't feel this irritation but I am just wondering why exactly people with kids are being given a get-out-of-jail-free card as we are all trying to do our best work in the time of COVID.
( Answer from Carolyn )