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purleweDear Care and Feeding,
Roughly a year ago, my now–2-year-old daughter, Lucy, started calling herself “Neen” (pronounced “nin”), and although she clearly recognizes her actual name and responds to it, she only refers to herself as Neen. We have no clue where this name came from or why she has decided to call herself that—there’s not a single person, cartoon, Disney character, etc., in her life with a name that sounds remotely like this. Increasingly, she’ll say things like “Help Neen please,” or, if she wants to do something herself (she wants to do everything herself), she will say “No, Neen!”
We find it pretty funny, and my husband goes along with it so much that he almost exclusively calls her the new name now. Do you have any insight as to why a toddler would change her name as a 1-year-old and keep that up for so long? Like, what in her brain is telling her to call herself by an entirely different name?
—Neen’s Mom
Dear NM,
This is an adorable nonproblem, not entirely divorced from the predilection that toddlers have for referring to themselves in the third person as they learn to sort out language, and I can totally relate.
Picture it: Chicago, 1988-ish. When I was slightly older than Neen/Lucy, I heard Golden Girls’ Rose Nylund refer to someone as “picky picky,” and it stuck with me. My parents were in the process of trying to explain that I was African American, to which I’d respond, “No, I’m Picky Picky,” and I identified as such for quite some time. One of my earliest childhood memories is how much I liked that phrase and that it, somehow, felt like me. Despite what some devoted C&F readers may assume, we weren’t talking about racial identity every day in my house, but I was definitely reminding my family that I was “Picky Picky” on a daily basis.
It sounds like, for your baby, this new name just feels right. You see Lucy; she sees Neen. She may have heard a word or name that sounds similar and simply fell in love with the sound. She also could have babbled the sound to herself and discovered it to be pleasing to her ears. Perhaps when she gets a little older, she’ll be able to explain to you where it derives from.
Also, the concept of being named by your parents is certainly more sophisticated than a 2-year-old can rightly be expected to grasp. If she chose her red shoes over her blue ones, Cheerios over oatmeal, or even saying “Mommy” versus “Mama” or “Mom,” picking out a name isn’t a strange proposition at all. “Neen” has all the makings of a lifelong family nickname or fodder for a story that you’ll be able to embarrass her with when she’s a teenager (“Is Neen short for Janeen?” “Um, not quite … ”). What a delightful letter to get during such a gloomy period. Hope you and Neen/Lucy have a great week!
Roughly a year ago, my now–2-year-old daughter, Lucy, started calling herself “Neen” (pronounced “nin”), and although she clearly recognizes her actual name and responds to it, she only refers to herself as Neen. We have no clue where this name came from or why she has decided to call herself that—there’s not a single person, cartoon, Disney character, etc., in her life with a name that sounds remotely like this. Increasingly, she’ll say things like “Help Neen please,” or, if she wants to do something herself (she wants to do everything herself), she will say “No, Neen!”
We find it pretty funny, and my husband goes along with it so much that he almost exclusively calls her the new name now. Do you have any insight as to why a toddler would change her name as a 1-year-old and keep that up for so long? Like, what in her brain is telling her to call herself by an entirely different name?
—Neen’s Mom
Dear NM,
This is an adorable nonproblem, not entirely divorced from the predilection that toddlers have for referring to themselves in the third person as they learn to sort out language, and I can totally relate.
Picture it: Chicago, 1988-ish. When I was slightly older than Neen/Lucy, I heard Golden Girls’ Rose Nylund refer to someone as “picky picky,” and it stuck with me. My parents were in the process of trying to explain that I was African American, to which I’d respond, “No, I’m Picky Picky,” and I identified as such for quite some time. One of my earliest childhood memories is how much I liked that phrase and that it, somehow, felt like me. Despite what some devoted C&F readers may assume, we weren’t talking about racial identity every day in my house, but I was definitely reminding my family that I was “Picky Picky” on a daily basis.
It sounds like, for your baby, this new name just feels right. You see Lucy; she sees Neen. She may have heard a word or name that sounds similar and simply fell in love with the sound. She also could have babbled the sound to herself and discovered it to be pleasing to her ears. Perhaps when she gets a little older, she’ll be able to explain to you where it derives from.
Also, the concept of being named by your parents is certainly more sophisticated than a 2-year-old can rightly be expected to grasp. If she chose her red shoes over her blue ones, Cheerios over oatmeal, or even saying “Mommy” versus “Mama” or “Mom,” picking out a name isn’t a strange proposition at all. “Neen” has all the makings of a lifelong family nickname or fodder for a story that you’ll be able to embarrass her with when she’s a teenager (“Is Neen short for Janeen?” “Um, not quite … ”). What a delightful letter to get during such a gloomy period. Hope you and Neen/Lucy have a great week!