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conulyDear Care and Feeding,
I grew up in Ireland, where we weren’t allowed to speak our language or participate in our culture in any way by English law. I went to America for college and married an American man, and am now pregnant. I suggested to my husband that I speak Irish and he speak English to the baby, so they grow up bilingual. He said the baby won’t be speaking a language he doesn’t speak.
I’m heartbroken, since he knows how hard it was for me and my family to be so disconnected from our culture, and how hard we fought—and Irish people still fight—for our language not to die. When I tried to explain this, he rolled his eyes and said his family is descended from French and Italian as well as English, so by my logic we should teach the baby four languages. 1) He only speaks English. 2) We could learn as much French and Italian as we can before the baby comes if it’s important, which I told him. 3) His families immigrated here more than 100 years ago, and I’ve never heard him talk about those cultures before now.
I’ve tried to discuss this calmly over the past few days, which has only resulted in worse and worse fights, until he finally yelled that I’m white and I should stop acting like I’m special, or the baby’s going to think white people are oppressed. I’ve never compared our occupation with what people of color go through in America, or any country. Since moving here my husband and I have participated in protests and political meetings for racial equality, and never once has he mentioned that my desire for connection to my culture is offensive or even related to the fight of oppressed people in America. I don’t understand why he is offended at the idea of our child having the freedom to know this part of their culture, which is so important to me since I know the pain of it being illegal. Is this inappropriate in America? Is it giving up solidarity with people of color if I teach my child my language, when many people face racist violence for not speaking English?
—Erin Go Wha?
( Read more... )
I grew up in Ireland, where we weren’t allowed to speak our language or participate in our culture in any way by English law. I went to America for college and married an American man, and am now pregnant. I suggested to my husband that I speak Irish and he speak English to the baby, so they grow up bilingual. He said the baby won’t be speaking a language he doesn’t speak.
I’m heartbroken, since he knows how hard it was for me and my family to be so disconnected from our culture, and how hard we fought—and Irish people still fight—for our language not to die. When I tried to explain this, he rolled his eyes and said his family is descended from French and Italian as well as English, so by my logic we should teach the baby four languages. 1) He only speaks English. 2) We could learn as much French and Italian as we can before the baby comes if it’s important, which I told him. 3) His families immigrated here more than 100 years ago, and I’ve never heard him talk about those cultures before now.
I’ve tried to discuss this calmly over the past few days, which has only resulted in worse and worse fights, until he finally yelled that I’m white and I should stop acting like I’m special, or the baby’s going to think white people are oppressed. I’ve never compared our occupation with what people of color go through in America, or any country. Since moving here my husband and I have participated in protests and political meetings for racial equality, and never once has he mentioned that my desire for connection to my culture is offensive or even related to the fight of oppressed people in America. I don’t understand why he is offended at the idea of our child having the freedom to know this part of their culture, which is so important to me since I know the pain of it being illegal. Is this inappropriate in America? Is it giving up solidarity with people of color if I teach my child my language, when many people face racist violence for not speaking English?
—Erin Go Wha?
( Read more... )