In which Harriette needlessly advises the LW to be polite to jerks

[conuly]

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 23-year-old woman facing a dilemma within my friend group of four. Our group consists of two girls, including myself, and two guys. The other girl in our group enjoys wearing a significant amount of makeup. I don't mind this, as I believe everyone has the right to express themselves in a way that makes them feel confident and beautiful. However, our male friends consistently give her a hard time about her makeup choices. They go as far as telling her to take it off, claiming that she looks ugly with it on. This situation makes me uncomfortable, and I'm unsure about how to address it. I believe everyone has the right to make their own choices regarding their appearance without facing judgment from others. How can I approach my male friends to express my concerns about their comments without causing unnecessary conflict within our friend group? -- Friend Drama

DEAR FRIEND DRAMA: Speak directly to your male friends and ask them to back off. It's fine for them to have an opinion about your friend, but it's inappropriate to badger her about it. Insist that they let her be. Tone is everything. Since she loves makeup, they might want to give her some makeup lessons from a pro, but they should stop the name-calling now. That's not how friends treat each other.

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[conuly]

LW, don't waste your breath. Tell your friend she looks lovely and tell those jerks to fuck off. And then stop spending time with them, because they're terrible people.

[ysobel]

How can I approach my male friends to express my concerns about their comments without causing unnecessary conflict within our friend group?

Pro tip: there already IS unnecessary conflict. While you can't say "hey that's not ok, quit it" in a way that guarantees no hurt feelings, it's also not your job to manage their feelings for them. Better to dump the Grenade Of Discomfort in the lap of those acting shittily than leaving it with the makeup-wearing person getting bullied. If they want to not get told off for bullying, they can choose to behave better.

[jamoche]

"they might want to give her some makeup lessons from a pro"

Which will be interpreted as "they're right, and OP is on their side".

[watersword]

Was this written by a AI trained on redpill Reddit or something????

[full_metal_ox]

These are often the same sort of guys who complement what they regard as “natural” beauty.

Except that makeup-users in the audience could readily rattle off the fifteen products the model used to achieve that fresh-faced minimal look (and I wouldn’t put it past particular cognoscenti to be able to identify specific brands and colors.)

[firecat]

I’m annoyed that no mention was made of asking the makeup wearing girl what she wants done about this.