Dear Abby: Grandma Refuses to Take Boy's Diabetes Seriously

[lilysea]

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old single mother of two small children. My 5-year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I'm the only one in my family who has been trained in his care, so I understand the importance of a healthy diet, proper insulin dosage, checking his blood sugar, etc., and that unless his diabetes is properly managed, it could lead to serious health issues -- even death.

I have explained these things to my mother and attempted to train her several times, yet she continues to do things she shouldn't be doing. She stops by my house almost every night with "treats" like candy, ice cream, chocolate bars, doughnuts, etc. When I get upset about it, she'll casually reply, "Oh, whatever. If you dose him for the carbs in it, he's fine," which is not the case. Yes, he can have a treat now and then, but overall, he needs to stay away from that stuff.

It is extremely frustrating that she refuses to listen to me and continues to disrespect my wishes. I don't know what else to do. We have fought repeatedly over this, and she keeps telling me I'm "overreacting." I'm terrified my son will have permanent damage because of this. How do I get her to stop and listen to me? -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You have allowed your son's medical condition to become a power struggle between you and your mother. Schedule an appointment with your son's pediatrician so your mother can have the facts of life explained to her. If that doesn't help her to accept reality, then understand that she can't be trusted. Do not allow her to drop by with goodies, and supervise any contact he has with her. It is your job to protect your little boy, even from your obtuse mother, if necessary.

Comments

[neotoma]

WTF does 'have allowed your son's medical condition to become a power struggle' mean? It sure sounds like Abby is blaming the mom for grandmother's irresponsible and undermining actions.

I mean, I think the suggestion of arranging a meeting between grandmother and doctor is the a good one, because maybe the grandmother is one of those people who will only listen to an authority, because god forbid she actually treats her daughter like an adult who must be taken seriously.

But I'd be banning her now, not waiting. She can't be trusted now, and this could really hurt the kid. It's certainly not helping him understand how his diabetes should be managed.

I'd also be looking for someone else to be the kid's back-up emergency adult instead of grandma. Especially in medical emergencies...