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Ask Amy: Work email salutation is for 'gentlemen' only
The following is a rerun from 2015.
Dear Amy: I recently started working for a new company in a pretty heavily male-dominated field.
On certain emails sent to large groups of co-workers, I've noticed that my colleagues address the email to "Gentlemen."
There are clearly at least two females cc'd on most of these emails.
I feel as though the emails are not addressed to me with this greeting; I believe that it is old-fashioned and offensive. Do you have thoughts on how to address this -- without ruffling feathers or coming off the wrong way?
-- No Gentleman
Dear No: When composing a professional group email, the writer needs to imagine the intended recipients gathered together in a conference room.
It is not professional (or polite) to address a group of colleagues -- where at least one is a woman -- as "Gentlemen."
One option for you now is to compose a group email addressed to your colleagues with the salutation: "Ladies."
Ah, but you and I know that you probably cannot do this.
Alternatively, perhaps you could send out a group email to your work group with the subject line, "A Quick Suggestion."
In the body of the email you could write: "It would be helpful (certainly to me) if we could address emails to our working group as 'Colleagues' or a similar gender-neutral term. I don't speak for the other women in our group, but when I am included on emails addressed to 'Gentlemen,' I'm sometimes unsure if they are intended for me."
If you are not willing to do this -- or are unable to -- because of your position, you could ask your supervisor or HR representative for suggestions on how to handle this salutation situation. This is not the biggest (or the most sexist) issue you will encounter, but you should react honestly.
Dear Amy: I recently started working for a new company in a pretty heavily male-dominated field.
On certain emails sent to large groups of co-workers, I've noticed that my colleagues address the email to "Gentlemen."
There are clearly at least two females cc'd on most of these emails.
I feel as though the emails are not addressed to me with this greeting; I believe that it is old-fashioned and offensive. Do you have thoughts on how to address this -- without ruffling feathers or coming off the wrong way?
-- No Gentleman
Dear No: When composing a professional group email, the writer needs to imagine the intended recipients gathered together in a conference room.
It is not professional (or polite) to address a group of colleagues -- where at least one is a woman -- as "Gentlemen."
One option for you now is to compose a group email addressed to your colleagues with the salutation: "Ladies."
Ah, but you and I know that you probably cannot do this.
Alternatively, perhaps you could send out a group email to your work group with the subject line, "A Quick Suggestion."
In the body of the email you could write: "It would be helpful (certainly to me) if we could address emails to our working group as 'Colleagues' or a similar gender-neutral term. I don't speak for the other women in our group, but when I am included on emails addressed to 'Gentlemen,' I'm sometimes unsure if they are intended for me."
If you are not willing to do this -- or are unable to -- because of your position, you could ask your supervisor or HR representative for suggestions on how to handle this salutation situation. This is not the biggest (or the most sexist) issue you will encounter, but you should react honestly.
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-- No Guy
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To make things worse: we sometimes do the exact same thing in Dutch!
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"Hey guys" isn't great, but "hey confederates" is a lot worse. "Hey consorts" and "hey brood" just seem weird.
I do have one more suggestion, which they somehow missed in playing with a thesaurus: "Hey everybody."
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...Wait, no. 'Everybody' is listed as nr. 4.
But they missed mob, bunch and clan.
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Mainly in the format "Excuse me please guys!" when I need them to move out of the way so I can get past in my power wheelchair.
I have repeatedly tried using "Excuse me please people!" and "Excuse me please folks!", but that just gets utterly ignored, whereas "guys" gets their attention straight away.
I have heard older women object in an offended manner on occasion "we're not guys!" - this response seems to be more common in women aged 60 and up.
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Whoa, that's... odd. Where in the world is this?
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A psychologist (who I think is US based) suggested on her blog when I asked her about it:
"Don't know, but would hypothesize that it's simply more conventional to use "guys" in hailing people than "people" or "folks", so people are more likely to recognize that they're being hailed when you use it.
Hailing == attention getting announcement, used for when people aren't particularly paying attention to you and you need them to start doing so.
I would recommend trying this: swap the order to, "Hey guys! Excuse me please!" If "guys" is a more effective hailing cue, it will be even more effective if you put it before the instruction."
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I'd approach your supervisor directly, tbh; it's their inward-facing responsibility to manage you, but it's also their outward-facing responsibility to protect you and advocate for your needs. Your supervisor should go in to bat for you on this; if they don't, that right there would be a sign (at least for me) that it's worth continuing the job hunt in the background.
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My advice would have been the next time LW has to send a group email was simply write "Ladies and Gentlemen". Don't call attention to it, don't make a big fuss.
To rock the boat even less, I'd probably suggest LW address the next group email "Dear All".
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