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Welp, Doyin's gonna Doyin, I guess
Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a low stakes question: My 2-year-old daughter called me a “poo head” the other day. I was distraught; she was bubbling over with glee. I put on my best mischievous grin and responded that SHE was the poo head. She laughed a lot, said I was the poo head and it continued. I was honestly having fun. I looked over to find my partner (her Dad) looking somewhat exasperated. I asked him what was up. He said we’re not supposed to go along with it, that name calling is a thing, and that it probably shouldn’t be a game. I said I think it’s OK, it’s clear we’re having fun and if she was trying to be mean or trying to hurt me, or if it hurt another child, my response would be different. He shrugged, he thinks she’s too young to get different contexts and that I’m “making a rod for my own back” later down the line. I really wasn’t sure… do you think this will come back to bite me?
—Poo Head
Dear Poo Head,
I’m not well-versed in Boomer jargon, so I had to Google the meaning of “making a rod for my own back” — but I get it now. In any case, I tend to agree with your husband on this.
Seemingly innocuous teasing and name-calling can be the gateway drugs for bullying, racism, and other nefarious behavior if not checked early on. Not to mention, eventually you’ll learn there’s an expiration date on this type of nonsense. Sure it’s cute now to call each other poo head now, but would it be as cute when she’s a fourth grader? Or when she’s in middle school? Probably not. There are much better ways to engage with your child other than resorting to name calling, because whether you think you’re doing this or not, you’re basically telling her that this kind of behavior is funny and OK.
You don’t want to be the person raising a kid who teases everyone. Stop being a poo head and put an end to this name-calling foolishness, stat. And yes, I know what I did there.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/03/navigate-teen-romance-age-gap-flirtation-advice.html
I have a low stakes question: My 2-year-old daughter called me a “poo head” the other day. I was distraught; she was bubbling over with glee. I put on my best mischievous grin and responded that SHE was the poo head. She laughed a lot, said I was the poo head and it continued. I was honestly having fun. I looked over to find my partner (her Dad) looking somewhat exasperated. I asked him what was up. He said we’re not supposed to go along with it, that name calling is a thing, and that it probably shouldn’t be a game. I said I think it’s OK, it’s clear we’re having fun and if she was trying to be mean or trying to hurt me, or if it hurt another child, my response would be different. He shrugged, he thinks she’s too young to get different contexts and that I’m “making a rod for my own back” later down the line. I really wasn’t sure… do you think this will come back to bite me?
—Poo Head
Dear Poo Head,
I’m not well-versed in Boomer jargon, so I had to Google the meaning of “making a rod for my own back” — but I get it now. In any case, I tend to agree with your husband on this.
Seemingly innocuous teasing and name-calling can be the gateway drugs for bullying, racism, and other nefarious behavior if not checked early on. Not to mention, eventually you’ll learn there’s an expiration date on this type of nonsense. Sure it’s cute now to call each other poo head now, but would it be as cute when she’s a fourth grader? Or when she’s in middle school? Probably not. There are much better ways to engage with your child other than resorting to name calling, because whether you think you’re doing this or not, you’re basically telling her that this kind of behavior is funny and OK.
You don’t want to be the person raising a kid who teases everyone. Stop being a poo head and put an end to this name-calling foolishness, stat. And yes, I know what I did there.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/03/navigate-teen-romance-age-gap-flirtation-advice.html
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I have questions about his answer to the letter above this one, with the teenage boy and his younger maybe-crush maybe-girlfriend. I'm not thrilled with a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girlfriend either, but it seems you're more likely to get a positive reaction if you make it clear that the problem is sex and/or the appearance thereof - if they're just hanging out doing dating things in public where people can see them it's all more likely to die down faster than if either of them perceives this as a forbidden love.
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