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agonyaunt2022-12-02 01:12 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2022-12-02 01:12 am
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: Help! A Kid Messed With Our Dog Despite Being Warned. Now His Mother Is Threatening U
My girlfriend rescued a small, fluffy, abused dog. We have been working on the training, but one behavior will not go away: the dog hates kids. He will growl and try to hide if one approaches him. Taking him on walks is hazardous because there is apparently an uncountable number of idiot parents who think letting their screaming spawn run up to an unknown dog and stick their hands in its face is fine. Half the time I have to pick up my dog because they will not listen when I say not to approach and my dog isn’t friendly. I actually had a mother argue with me that her kid “knows” when a dog is friendly and implied my dog would be better off put down than out in public. I told her she was better off putting a leash on her own kid.
So, my sister knows all about the situation with our dog. She came over with her new girlfriend … and the girlfriend’s 8-year-old kid. We put the dog in the upstairs bedroom and closed the door. My girlfriend explained that he was a rescue and not good around kids, so no going upstairs. The adults went out on the porch for drinks and the kid was playing on their tablet. The next thing you know, the kid comes out bawling and says the dog attacked him. He went upstairs, into the bedroom, and tried to drag our dog from under the bed.
Once we made sure the kid hadn’t been bitten, the fur flew. My sister’s girlfriend started to rant and rave about our “dangerous” dog and threatened to report our dog to the authorities. My girlfriend lost her cool. She told my sister’s girlfriend that she was a “moron” and a “bad mom” considering her kid refuses to follow basic instructions and thinks going through a private area is okay. At that point, I told my sister it would be better if they leave. My sister is furious with my girlfriend and demands an apology or she is skipping Christmas. This has my parents very upset. The thing is, I think the girlfriend owes my girlfriend an apology. We explained the situation and put our dog in our bedroom. The fact her son thought it was alright to wander throughout home and stress out our dog—that is on his mom.
— Dogsbody
Dear Dogsbody,
A couple of rules to live by: Don’t tell people to put their children on leashes and don’t call those children “human spawn.” Don’t call anyone a bad mom or an “idiot parent.” These things make it kind of hard for you to claim the moral high ground. And don’t spend too much time worrying about whether a person who’s mad at you owes you an apology. I mean, what’s the point if you know the person doesn’t mean it?
That said, you and your girlfriend were right when it came to how you handled the dog, and your sister’s girlfriend made a bad choice when she left her son alone in the house, presumably knowing about his capacity to follow instructions. Sure, from a legal and trying-to-avoid-having-your-pet-taken-by-the-authorities perspective, you would have been smarter to refuse to allow a child to be unsupervised with access to an aggressive animal. But you didn’t do anything that justifies your sister’s anger.
She can skip Christmas if she wants, although I think she’s bluffing and will actually be there. You and your girlfriend don’t have to do anything at this point—except hire a really, really good dog trainer.
So, my sister knows all about the situation with our dog. She came over with her new girlfriend … and the girlfriend’s 8-year-old kid. We put the dog in the upstairs bedroom and closed the door. My girlfriend explained that he was a rescue and not good around kids, so no going upstairs. The adults went out on the porch for drinks and the kid was playing on their tablet. The next thing you know, the kid comes out bawling and says the dog attacked him. He went upstairs, into the bedroom, and tried to drag our dog from under the bed.
Once we made sure the kid hadn’t been bitten, the fur flew. My sister’s girlfriend started to rant and rave about our “dangerous” dog and threatened to report our dog to the authorities. My girlfriend lost her cool. She told my sister’s girlfriend that she was a “moron” and a “bad mom” considering her kid refuses to follow basic instructions and thinks going through a private area is okay. At that point, I told my sister it would be better if they leave. My sister is furious with my girlfriend and demands an apology or she is skipping Christmas. This has my parents very upset. The thing is, I think the girlfriend owes my girlfriend an apology. We explained the situation and put our dog in our bedroom. The fact her son thought it was alright to wander throughout home and stress out our dog—that is on his mom.
— Dogsbody
Dear Dogsbody,
A couple of rules to live by: Don’t tell people to put their children on leashes and don’t call those children “human spawn.” Don’t call anyone a bad mom or an “idiot parent.” These things make it kind of hard for you to claim the moral high ground. And don’t spend too much time worrying about whether a person who’s mad at you owes you an apology. I mean, what’s the point if you know the person doesn’t mean it?
That said, you and your girlfriend were right when it came to how you handled the dog, and your sister’s girlfriend made a bad choice when she left her son alone in the house, presumably knowing about his capacity to follow instructions. Sure, from a legal and trying-to-avoid-having-your-pet-taken-by-the-authorities perspective, you would have been smarter to refuse to allow a child to be unsupervised with access to an aggressive animal. But you didn’t do anything that justifies your sister’s anger.
She can skip Christmas if she wants, although I think she’s bluffing and will actually be there. You and your girlfriend don’t have to do anything at this point—except hire a really, really good dog trainer.
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My grievances against past coworkers with kids were:
a) parents were often allowed to take leave without question if their kids were sick, whereas nonparents were harassed and criticized for taking sick leave (and sometimes even referred to HR for taking sick leave!)
b) they brought their kids to work when their kids were contagious, and got all their coworkers sick
c) they brought their kids to work, and didn't supervise them for hours, and the kids ran around shouting and screaming and getting into people's rubbish bins, and then the parents got angry if there was anything not kidsafe in the rubbish bins
d) during times of deadline crunches, they got to leave work at 3pm/5pm because of their kids, and people without kids had to stay to 7pm or even midnight
e) people with kids always got first pick of who got to take what days off work
f) if I was unwell or exhausted, people with kids would scoff at me and say "you don't know what tired is!". The fact that at the time I was coming down with a chronic illness that now has me so exhausted that I have to use a power wheelchair to leave the house and am mostly bedbound would suggest that I did, in fact, know what tired was.
I have absolutely no issue with parents who *don't* do a, b, c, d, e or f.
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f) Ugh. Sounds as if they were jealous of your child-free existence in which you couldn't possibly be as tired as them, poor sleep-deprived parents.
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Parenting is difficult but that does not at all excuse being an asshole about it.
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Others, definitely problems with parents.
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