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agonyaunt2022-03-03 05:33 pm
lemonsharks) wrote in agonyaunt2022-03-03 05:33 pm
Low stakes Dear Abby, how do we get our inlaws to stop giving us stuff we don't like need or want?
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I argue about returning gifts his parents give us. They are well-off and buy excessively for their grandkids throughout the year, especially at holidays. They also buy multiple gifts for my husband and me. We are drowning in too much stuff and constantly battling clutter in our home.
None of these gifts are from our family’s wish lists, nor are they particularly thoughtful. In years past, I have asked my mother-in-law to limit her purchases to three gifts — one toy, one outfit, one book — with no success. I also have pleaded with her to stop buying me small knickknacks, and have suggested more experience-based gifts. Still, year after year, we come home with a bunch of stuff we neither need nor want.
How can I get my in-laws to respect our wishes? To make matters worse, my husband becomes defensive of his parents when I get frustrated, even though he fundamentally agrees with me. How do I help his parents understand that what they are really giving us is a fight? And, if none of them care about my wishes, how do I get past feeling disrespected and disregarded? — BURIED IN STUFF
DEAR BURIED: By now you should have realized that your mother-in-law, “Lady Bountiful,” isn’t going to change. You will spend less time being frustrated if you let go of your resentment about her spending sprees. My heartfelt advice to you is to develop a sense of humor where she’s concerned. If you can’t use her gifts, donate, regift or sell them.
None of these gifts are from our family’s wish lists, nor are they particularly thoughtful. In years past, I have asked my mother-in-law to limit her purchases to three gifts — one toy, one outfit, one book — with no success. I also have pleaded with her to stop buying me small knickknacks, and have suggested more experience-based gifts. Still, year after year, we come home with a bunch of stuff we neither need nor want.
How can I get my in-laws to respect our wishes? To make matters worse, my husband becomes defensive of his parents when I get frustrated, even though he fundamentally agrees with me. How do I help his parents understand that what they are really giving us is a fight? And, if none of them care about my wishes, how do I get past feeling disrespected and disregarded? — BURIED IN STUFF
DEAR BURIED: By now you should have realized that your mother-in-law, “Lady Bountiful,” isn’t going to change. You will spend less time being frustrated if you let go of your resentment about her spending sprees. My heartfelt advice to you is to develop a sense of humor where she’s concerned. If you can’t use her gifts, donate, regift or sell them.
no subject
Bombarding the inlaws with an equal or greater quatity of dust collectors from the dollar store would probably not go over well, but I bet it would be satisfying.
no subject