Ermingarden (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2021-12-17 01:57 pm
ermingarden) wrote in agonyaunt2021-12-17 01:57 pm
Dear Prudence: My Brother-in-Law Is Secretly Sleeping With a Married Couple for Cash
Dear Prudence,
My brother-in-law disclosed to me that he had multiple sexual encounters with a married couple in exchange for money. He and my sister are struggling financially, and when he first mentioned that he was propositioned, I urged him to decline the offer because no good would come of it. That was about a year ago; then recently he said he gave in (at least twice, I guess) because they needed the cash. However, he has not told my sister. I am upset that he thought it OK to engage in an affair like this and upset that he disclosed this to me and expects me to keep it from my sister. They have two young children, and I know if I said anything to my sister, their family would implode. Keeping it from her also feels bad because if she were ever to find out that I knew, it would destroy my relationship with her.
—No Good Options
Dear No Good Options,
Why would he tell you this? Maybe on some level he wants you to tell your sister. Perhaps she can tell him to stop? Or she can know how hard he’s working to support the family? I really have no idea. But you don’t owe him anything, and you don’t have to keep this secret. Tell your sister, and she can decide whether or not her family implodes over it. This is a much better scenario than risking your relationship with her by hiding what you know.
My brother-in-law disclosed to me that he had multiple sexual encounters with a married couple in exchange for money. He and my sister are struggling financially, and when he first mentioned that he was propositioned, I urged him to decline the offer because no good would come of it. That was about a year ago; then recently he said he gave in (at least twice, I guess) because they needed the cash. However, he has not told my sister. I am upset that he thought it OK to engage in an affair like this and upset that he disclosed this to me and expects me to keep it from my sister. They have two young children, and I know if I said anything to my sister, their family would implode. Keeping it from her also feels bad because if she were ever to find out that I knew, it would destroy my relationship with her.
—No Good Options
Dear No Good Options,
Why would he tell you this? Maybe on some level he wants you to tell your sister. Perhaps she can tell him to stop? Or she can know how hard he’s working to support the family? I really have no idea. But you don’t owe him anything, and you don’t have to keep this secret. Tell your sister, and she can decide whether or not her family implodes over it. This is a much better scenario than risking your relationship with her by hiding what you know.
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I know there are more exciting plotbunnies being considered below, but the ones that leap to my mind are more old-fashioned.
"Please don't tell M I had to do this terrible thing just to pay rent and buy baby food for our poor children. If she knew, it would ruin Christmas." Then M's sister [or mom or best friend] either comes through with some kind of day-saving Christmas present.
*
Re: *
Either M's sister comes through with something like "Merry Christmas, dear sister, here's a large check. Tell your husband to stop worrying so much about money, and remind the children their godmother loves them even though I can't visit again just now."
OR she tells M her husband is a scoundrel/liar/criminal, and she turns up Christmas morning to whisk her sister and niblings away.
Could the husband have been hoping for the first scenario? Given the timing? Maybe. The total fantasy scenario ("Here's a house, and health insurance, and a hypoallergenic pony!" is not going to happen.) But a few hundred dollars to fix the car can be life-changing for a lot of families.