Dear Abby:Opinionated Dad Has Plan to School College Daughter on Politics

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jason," and I have a 19-year-old daughter, "Laurie," who finished her freshman year of college with a 4.0 GPA. She has always been a great student and is interested in theater, music and dance. She has never given us any trouble.

My husband is very conservative and opinionated about politics. Our daughter has become much more politically liberal over the last couple of years. Jason thinks it is disrespectful of her to not want to listen to him try to influence her to think like he does (he has tried before). I have told Jason she needs to work out her own political beliefs and, as she matures and sees how the business world works, she'll probably become more moderate.

Jason is now insisting that we set a time when "the three of us can talk," which means he will lecture her about where she is wrong. What can I do as a mother and wife to mediate this meeting? I think both of them are pretty dug in. -- LOVE THEM BOTH IN ARKANSAS

DEAR LOVE: I see no way that what your husband has in mind will be either pleasant or productive. However, because he is her father, Laurie owes him the respect of hearing him out. When the conversation becomes heated -- as it very well may -- suggest a timeout until they both cool down. Or leave the room if it becomes too stressful for you.

Comments

[lilysea]

It's not okay behaviour on the Dad's part.

It wouldn't be okay behaviour if she was a Trump voter and he was left wing, either.

A few remarks over dinner "I'm concerned that candidate X has policy Y" are ok - but they should be said with respect for the other persons right to have a different opinion, and a willingness to drop it.

What the Dad is proposing is an *intervention* - which is only okay for seeking to address drug/alcohol problems; cult membership; untreated mental illness; gambling addictions; and abusive relationships.

[lilysea]

Pretty much the only time the Dad's behaviour would be okay is if his daughter was supporting actual Nazis/fascists/Ku klux klan, and even then it should be done with compassion and kindness and concern - "We love you, and it deeply saddens us to see you supporting this group which advocates so much hate and hurts other people."

[cereta]

Yes, exactly.

[mommy]

That's what I'm seeing, too.

[minoanmiss]

So true. My parents treated me like Dad up there is planning to when I became more liberal/left Christianity, and the result was that I ran away from them too.