agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: As soon as I graduate next spring with my bachelor’s degree, I intend to enter the convent of the religious order that taught at my high school. I had wanted to enter at the end of my senior year there, but my parents insisted I go to a four-year-co-ed college at least 100 miles from home, so I would have to live there so I would have “the full college experience”.

I have not liked having to wait, but since my vocation came to me when I was 15, I have known what I must and will do and I do not resent my parents’ asking this delay of me.

I know my parents continue to hope I will meet some nice guy and fall in love with him and decide I do not want to enter religious life. But I dated a couple of those nice guys, and there were zero sparks. All this entire experience did was to confirm my devotion to my chosen life.

It is obvious this all greatly bugs my parents, and I hate that part of it, but I have a calling, and that ultimately cannot be pushed aside or denied. Life outside the order would be miserable for me.

I know my parents are praying this will be the year I change my mind, but I will not. I know that.

What more can I do to convince my parents I am doing what is best for me and what will make me happy? --- HAVE MY CALLING

DEAR HAVE MY CALLING: The path you’re committed to taking isn’t an easy nor a very common one, and I can certainly appreciate your parents’ wanting you to be sure before you moved fully into it.

That said, you and they struck a bargain that entailed you going to college to see what else is out there. I think that was a smart thing to do and it sounds like you were open to the experiences that come with the territory.

Your strongest argument now may be to remind them of your willingness and follow-through on taking a few years to explore a more conventional life. So far it obviously hasn’t changed your mind.

If that remains the case, as you’re certain it will, then hopefully your parents will accept the fact that you tried things their way and come next spring, it’s your turn to pursue your own convictions and passions.

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I would think LW's commitment to upholding their end of the bargain - did the whole four year undergraduate thing away from home - and continued determination to pursue this path - unusual tho it sounds like it might be within their family's community - should probably help allay some of their parents' fears?

If fears is the correct word. If the real word is, ahem, "the baby rabies" then nothing's gonna work and the parents ought to consider having another before it's too late.

Ooh, good point. I think there are legitimate reasons for LW's parents to worry about their child taking such a huge (unusual and potentially difficult to get out of) decision like joining a convent but if their problem is that they want a grandbaby… you're right, it might not be too late for them to have another child but it's weird and inappropriate to put that on LW - especially if they're being "subtle" about it.