Dear Prudence: My Cat & I Are Being Stalked by The Child Next Door

[minoanmiss]

About a year ago, I moved into a unit on a shared driveway. I’m at the back, and up the front is a family with two primary-school age kids. They often play on the driveway in front of my place, which is fine as none of us have big backyards and I don’t park there. The kids are friendly, and while I don’t know the parents well enough to know their names, we’ll chat if we’re both coming in and out of our houses at the same time. This is all normal and good, part of having neighbors—but there is a problem I’m not sure how to handle.

I have an indoor cat, and the younger kid, she’s maybe 7, is very, very keen on him. Several times a week, she comes and stares at him through the front window, which I find partially cute (I also loved cats as a little kid) and partially a bit invasive (I am at home in my private space and she’s just standing there staring in). Sometimes she leaves cat litter and food that I can’t use on the front step, and if I don’t take it inside immediately, the next time I’m on my front step, it’s obviously been moved as if she thinks I didn’t see it. This has ramped up lately, and I’m feeling the lack of privacy. It is uncomfortable having a kid stare at me while I make dinner or sit on the couch or work out! I know I need to chat to her parents and say it’s gotten to be a bit much, but they don’t have a heap of space themselves, and I’m aware that when you’re 7, hearing no can be pretty upsetting. I don’t want to be unkind to this family, but I also don’t want to close the curtains any time I’m home. There is a box of cat supplies I didn’t ask for and can’t use on my front step right now.
—Leave Me and My Cat Alone

Would you be comfortable setting aside 15 minutes every afternoon (maybe right when the kid comes home from school?) or an hour once a week, or whatever works best for you as “cat time”? If so, why don’t you say something to the parents like, “I’ve noticed Peyton really loves to come look at Mr. Whiskers! It can be a little startling to see her standing there looking in the window so often, but I’d love to set up a regular time for her to come over and see him instead. She could even play with him or help me feed him if she’s interested and you’re comfortable with that.”

Then tell the 7-year-old the plan and give her a child-friendly reminder not to hang out on your porch like a little stalker every day. For example, “When you see that I’ve hung the picture of Mr. Whiskers on the door, you are free to sit on the porch and watch him or come in to visit him. If it’s not there, please play in front of your house and come back another time.” If this works out, everyone will be happy, and you’ll be training a future pet-sitter in the process.

Comments

[conuly]

Where the hell is a first grader getting all this kitty litter and cat food!?

LW can dump it at the nearest food pantry, I guess. Somebody will find a use for it, even though it's not human food.

[full_metal_ox]

I bet the local animal shelter could use kitty litter and cat food.

[minoanmiss]

A sympathetic older child/teenager or (foolish) adult? A big allowance?

I was kind of surprised that LW had no idea what to do with the unwanted supplies, but it may not be obvious at first thought.

[azurelunatic]

The supplies disappearing absent a strong contrary word would be proof to the kid that Mr. Whiskers wanted and needed the supplies.

[melannen]

Food pantries often don't handle pet stuff, but the local shelter or animal control will take it, some pet stores even have donation dropoffs. (But where is it coming from???)

[conuly]

It's my understanding that food pantries often don't buy pet food, like they don't buy soap or hygiene supplies, but if you show up with a bag of dog food or 100 boxes of tampons that a tenant left in your house (that was fun to walk through the streets with) they'll often put it out for anybody to take.

Though it's best to ask first, of course.

[feldman]

Find a local USian food bank at feedingamerica.org :)

Many are starting to offer pet food as well, since every little bit demonstrably helps in easing household burden - we've partnered with the humane society to have it at a couple of our mobile distributions.

[melannen]

My local food pantry occasionally does that, but more often I'm the one ferrying it from the food pantry to Animal Control to prevent the other pantry volunteers from throwing it out. They'll sometimes put out stuff (like pet food and paper goods) that isn't in their usual the day they get it, but they don't have the storage to hang onto it very long, and they don't want to give the impression they can be relied on to have it.

Some places have a specific Pet Pantry (maybe this seven-year-old should talk to them about starting one if they don't!) and some food pantries do pet food regularly, it does vary a lot, but your odds are much better that it will actually get to a needy animal at the SPCA or at Animal Control.

[pensnest]

I have to admit, my mental image was not of packets, but of handfuls....