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agonyaunt2024-06-22 11:23 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2024-06-22 11:23 pm
Entry tags:
Miss Manners: Do I Need To Respond To Awful Letters From Strangers?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the correct response to a critical unsolicited letter?
I am in my 30s, and sadly have been estranged from my parents for the past few years due to abuse. I periodically receive long, scathing letters from people I've never met, and from distant family members who think I should give my parents another chance. Presumably, my parents have asked them to send these letters, as they contain many misperceptions about the situation.
What is the etiquette here? I do not think it is appropriate to discuss the situation with them, and my first inclination is to not respond. But I also want to do the right thing. Most of these letters come from members of an older generation, who may care more about etiquette.
Do proper manners require you to respond to every letter you receive? Or are there some situations that supersede the rules?
GENTLE READER: Members of a generation who care more about etiquette would not write rude, impertinent letters in the first place.
Miss Manners assures you that you do not need to answer. But if you are worried about fueling the feud further, you may write back a curt, "Thank you for the advice. I hope you are well."
That this is perfectly polite, but might make them madder, is a bonus.
I am in my 30s, and sadly have been estranged from my parents for the past few years due to abuse. I periodically receive long, scathing letters from people I've never met, and from distant family members who think I should give my parents another chance. Presumably, my parents have asked them to send these letters, as they contain many misperceptions about the situation.
What is the etiquette here? I do not think it is appropriate to discuss the situation with them, and my first inclination is to not respond. But I also want to do the right thing. Most of these letters come from members of an older generation, who may care more about etiquette.
Do proper manners require you to respond to every letter you receive? Or are there some situations that supersede the rules?
GENTLE READER: Members of a generation who care more about etiquette would not write rude, impertinent letters in the first place.
Miss Manners assures you that you do not need to answer. But if you are worried about fueling the feud further, you may write back a curt, "Thank you for the advice. I hope you are well."
That this is perfectly polite, but might make them madder, is a bonus.
no subject
It's a common trick of narcissistic abusers.
https://navigatingreligiousnarcissism.com/9-types-of-flying-monkeys-know-how-to-deal-with-each-one
I mean I've lived this. When I refused to return to my parents after colleg they told pretty much everyone I'd grown up with that I ran away to the evil Godless world, and a bunch of relatives and childhood friends called me and wrote me to tell me I was breaking my parents' hearts and I should go back to them. Fortunately I had learned one of the most important lessons of literature -- what happened to me has happened to others -- so I did a little research and found other people had expeerienced this as well. Later I came across the term "flying monkeys" itself.