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How do you deal with messy bedrooms? Our 11-year-old is responsible when it comes to a lot of things, but keeping her room clean isn’t one of them. I could deal with general messiness, but her floor is just covered in clothes (both clean and dirty), skincare products, school stuff, etc. It will get to a point where she cleans it up, but within a week it’s a disaster again. She doesn’t seem to be embarrassed when friends come over and honestly doesn’t understand why we care so much. What’s the best way to not only keep her room clean enough so I don’t have to avert my eyes when walking past, but also have it so this isn’t an ongoing battle?
—Where’s the Floor
Dear Floor,
I guess my first piece of advice is to try to separate yourself emotionally from the whole (literal) mess? Don’t turn it into a character flaw, or a sign that your daughter isn’t responsible. It’s pretty normal for a kid her age to not notice or be particularly bothered by clutter.
If it really upsets you to look at it, then don’t constantly monitor its status; check only as needed.
My mom used to have a refrigerator magnet that read “Creative minds are rarely tidy,” and I think about it every time I glance into my artist child’s chaotic room. I would prefer it if she noticed, cared, and cleaned it without being told, but it’s just not a priority for her, and arguing with her about it just annoys us both. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I just … tell my daughter to pick up her room every couple of weeks, usually when the rest of us are working to clean other rooms. I’m a big fan of the routine, because then it’s not an impromptu order or parental power trip—it’s just that time when we clean whatever is messy. (Those of you who clean your house more than once or twice a month: I’m super happy for you.)
Of course, I know that her room will soon be messy again. But she also knows that she’ll be tasked with picking it up again. It’s the expectation—and a slightly frustrating cycle, I grant you—but not an ongoing fight.
Link
—Where’s the Floor
Dear Floor,
I guess my first piece of advice is to try to separate yourself emotionally from the whole (literal) mess? Don’t turn it into a character flaw, or a sign that your daughter isn’t responsible. It’s pretty normal for a kid her age to not notice or be particularly bothered by clutter.
If it really upsets you to look at it, then don’t constantly monitor its status; check only as needed.
My mom used to have a refrigerator magnet that read “Creative minds are rarely tidy,” and I think about it every time I glance into my artist child’s chaotic room. I would prefer it if she noticed, cared, and cleaned it without being told, but it’s just not a priority for her, and arguing with her about it just annoys us both. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I just … tell my daughter to pick up her room every couple of weeks, usually when the rest of us are working to clean other rooms. I’m a big fan of the routine, because then it’s not an impromptu order or parental power trip—it’s just that time when we clean whatever is messy. (Those of you who clean your house more than once or twice a month: I’m super happy for you.)
Of course, I know that her room will soon be messy again. But she also knows that she’ll be tasked with picking it up again. It’s the expectation—and a slightly frustrating cycle, I grant you—but not an ongoing fight.
Link
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