Miss Manners: People don't say "Good Morning" when texting

[cereta]

Dear Miss Manners: When texting or emailing friends or clients, I often start off with “Good morning” or “How are you?” and end with “Have a great day.”

I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like “Okay,” and they don’t usually start with “Good morning” or end with “Have a good day.” So sometimes, I sarcastically reply “Good morning to me, too,” which I know people don’t like.

Am I too sensitive? I am old school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than “Be there” or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won’t expect as much anymore.

Miss Manners: An excess of sensitivity would not be the diagnosis from Miss Manners after you admitted to the sarcastic barb. In the hope of preventing the next one, let her point out that different methods of communication carry with them different expectations about brevity.

While she agrees it would be unmannerly not to say hello to someone to whom you have just been introduced in a social setting, she would prefer to dispense with the prelude when warning someone about a fast-approaching car. Texts fall somewhere in between.

Comments

[dissectionist]

I’m fine with typing on a phone but I generally don’t use small-talk niceties because I find them inefficient. When someone is opening a conversation about something else with “how are you?” they aren’t actually asking how I am; they’re initiating a canned call-and-answer where I’m expected to give a meaningless affirmative regardless of how I actually feel. It’s simply a waste of time to me. Get right to the point of what you want to ask or tell me, I’ll get right to the point of what I need to give you in response, and we can both move on with our days.

[melannen]

When I was a preteen I found a very silly book that among other things stated that "Haya", "Doon", "Awrye" and "Anyu" were names of ancient Lemurian goddesses preserved linguistically in now-meaningless ritual greetings. It really helps me get through small talk!

[dissectionist]

That’s actually pretty cute!