Dear Prudence: Struggling With Authenticity

[minoanmiss]

Struggling with authenticity: My dream is to write for television. In one of my college classes, I’ve been assigned a personal branding assignment where we try to sell ourselves as professionals. Our instructor wants us to focus on authenticity and use our personal experiences to make us memorable.

I’m transgender. I’m stealth and don’t tell people unless I have to. I’ve also struggled with mental health issues, suicide attempts, etc. While brainstorming this assignment, I mentioned resilience as one of my best traits. My professor encouraged me to talk about my past and the journey I’ve been on.

I’m struggling with this. I know that in order to make it in the industry, it helps to stand out from the crowd. I know being out as a “trans writer” could open a lot of doors for me. And I know that authenticity is key, but there’s very little I can say about my journey without labeling myself or basically marketing my trauma. Is there a way to market myself authentically and “prove” that I have a unique voice and stories worth telling while not talking about these parts of my life? Is it possible to be a successful writer without being willing to share so much of what has shaped who I am? Could refusing to be open about being trans damage my chances for success?

A: I’m incredibly skeptical of anyone who tells you that you need to be hugely vulnerable and disclose intimate details of past trauma in order to succeed in your chosen field, even if that chosen field is a creative one that sometimes (or often) calls upon personal experience. Nor do I think we live in a world where trans people are so celebrated that simply coming out will significantly increase the odds you’ll land a job in a writers’ room. How many TV shows (besides those explicitly about trans people) have full-time trans writers? The WGAW Inclusion Report for 2020 has some more breakdowns about television writers here, but aside from a quick line about achieving relative parity with the national LGBTQ population at around 6 percent, there’s not much information (and there’s often a significant difference between the LGBTQ community broadly and trans people in particular). “Standing out from the crowd” is one thing, but it’s a mistake to believe the only way you can stand out is by coming out, or that it’s impossible to discuss your resilience without going into detail about your mental health history. Most writers are not hired on the basis of perceived “resilience”; even if I thought it were likely to get you a job, I’d advise against it, but the fact that I don’t think it would even help you achieve your goal is another mark against disclosing during the hiring process.

None of this is to say that you have to remain closeted, or that there’s no good reason to come out. But your professor is giving you terrible advice in suggesting that you have to furnish intimate, personal details about suicidality, trauma, or your transition in order to “stand out” from the crowd of job applicants. You should come out if and when you feel safe doing so and believe it would improve your life, your relationships, or your general well-being.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

I somewhat agree with the half an answer Prudie gave. I am just an amateur writer, but one recurring piece of advice annoys me and I will never pass it on: "write autobiographically/write a memoir/write the deepest secrets of your life." Personally I prefer to try to process my experiences and use them as just one source of inspiration and ideas, parcelled out, reshaped to fit the story. LW's dilemma is one reason why I dislike this advice globally. I agree with Prudie that LW isn't required to come out to write authentically. This is what metaphors like the X-men are for. ;)

Also, Prudie only gave half an answer. What should LW do instead, Prudie? I know what I'd advise but Prudie didn't advise at all.

[movingfinger]

Surely being trans is not the only thing that has ever happened to LW! Draw on the horrible experience of being in a car with Terrible Directions Dad or something.

This kind of authenticity branding is toxic, because there are people who are not required to have it in order to be considered for the good jobs and the people who are are those who shouldn't have to prove anything in order to be candidates.

[ioplokon]

Yep, it sucks! This is one reason why I suggest having segmented creative identities, at least until you're sure how you want to market yourself. Because it's definitely true that you can gain a lot from marketing your trauma and identity (though - this is a risky industry! It's also possible you expose yourself and end up with nothing but exposure! I'm not 100% convinced that the Be Your Own Brand approach to the creative industries has reliable ROI, especially for something like tv writing), but imo, unless you know you want to commit to that, better to test it out under a pseud & you can wind it down if it makes you uncomfortable + shield yourself a bit from weirdos.

But I also think................ there's not such a market for trans writers that not outing yourself will kill your career. It just changes how you do your branding. There are plenty of cisgender people who are resilient for other reasons, there are ways to selectively edit examples to 1. be anonymizing (which doesn't just protect you, it protects people you know) and 2. control what you put out there about yourself.

Honestly, in an ideal world navigating this is something that LW's program should be ideally set up for. I think there are ways to have this convo w/o coming out to the instructor like, "hey, I want to work on activating my voice and building a personal brand, but I've had some struggles I'm not comfortable making public" or whatever.

[conuly]

Why do writing professors moonlight as amateur shrinks? They should leave the trauma to the professionals, and instead focus on doing their actual jobs, which is teaching the skill of writing.

[kindkit]

This professor sounds utterly terrible. Advising students to "brand" themselves according to their traumas is not only emotionally harmful, it seems likely to hurt their careers more than help. If I were hiring a writer, I'd want to know if they can write good stuff that follows the brief and meets the deadlines, not whether they're resilient. (It's possible I'm wrong and the TV industry does work like that, but, oof.)

And the sad truth is that being trans is not an advantage when job hunting. Which doesn't mean LW should have to stay stealth if they don't want to, but Professor Trauma's advice to lay out their whole identity and struggle and pain is not realistic. In fact it's so unrealistic that it makes me suspicious. They sound like one of those people who thinks that various good jobs/benefits are just handed to people with minoritized identities, when 99.999% of the time it's the reverse. (I realize that Prof doesn't know LW is trans, but encouraging people to "brand" according to their "authentic identity" and struggles raises so many red flags.)

OTOH, I have seen minoritized writers, especially BIPOC writers, talk about how the publishing industry wants them to write trauma porn all the time. So I guess the other possibility is that there is a role for writers who can produce a steady diet of aestheticized pain for the consumption of more privileged readers. But no responsible mentor should be encouraging their students to take that on.

[ioplokon]

yes this is what i was getting at. there is a niche you can get in, but at what cost? (also it is v competitive & has all marginalized people competing against each other vs in the wider industry?)

but i do think it is useful to craft a public persona & be able to project authenticity from it. One approach I just thought of is the pro-wrestling angle, where you create a persona that is you, but more. So like, in this interview (https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/trish-adora-profile/2021/11/01/80f774e2-375b-11ec-91dc-551d44733e2d_story.html), Patrice McNair says that Trish Adora is 'me plus love' - like, who she could have been if she got the love she needed. I think this is a route to interacting with the public from an authentic place without retraumatizing yourself...

[minoanmiss]

I have seen minoritized writers, especially BIPOC writers, talk about how the publishing industry wants them to write trauma porn all the time. So I guess the other possibility is that there is a role for writers who can produce a steady diet of aestheticized pain for the consumption of more privileged readers.

Oh yes this is a thing. When I investigated trying to be a professional writer this was recommended to me. I saddled up my Nopetopus.