minoanmiss: Minoan version of Egyptian scribal goddess Seshat (Seshat)
minoanmiss ([personal profile] minoanmiss) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2022-06-09 01:33 pm

Ask a Manager: Poetry Assignment



we have to write deeply personal poems and share them at a staff meeting

I work for a small values-driven company, and recently there has been an effort to do more relationship building among staff. Ahead of our next all staff meeting, we are required to write a “where I’m from” poem, based on the format of this work by George Ella Lyon.

While it seems like a fine introspective journaling activity, I am uncomfortable with the requirement to write them and share them with our coworkers and leadership. Especially since the instructions state “Make yourself cry a little. It should do that” and “The key is making this as specific and personal as possible.” The suggested categories include “the worst things that you have been told,” “accidents or traumatic experiences,” and “losses.”

I’ve checked out your responses to other reader questions like the mandatory feelings chart, and the mandatory mental health check-in, but wanted to get your insight on this as well. I don’t like the idea of having to write/share poetry at all, much less this type of forced vulnerability exercise. I feel like if I object it’ll be seen as anti-bonding or anti-team building. What do you think?


What the hell! This is really inappropriate to require of people at work.

I mean, if you want to do a poetry exercise, fine. I’m not a fan, and you’re likely to irritate a bunch of other non-fans of such activities, but as long as there are relatively loose parameters, people can decide for themselves how serious they want to get with it … and can do something silly if they don’t want to get personal.

But “make this as personal as possible” and “it should make you cry” and “tell us about your trauma” … my head is exploding.

Are you comfortable pushing back on this? It would be utterly reasonable for you to say, “I appreciate the recent efforts to build relationships among the staff, but this crosses a lot of boundaries for me, and I imagine for some others. I am not comfortable being asked to share traumas or painful personal episodes at work, or being asked to make myself cry during a work activity. Can we reconsider this and either provide an alternative for people who aren’t comfortable with this or let people opt out?”

Ideally you’d get other coworkers to join in saying this with you so that you’re not the sole objector.

It’s true that you might be seen as anti-bonding or anti-team-building. That’s not the worst thing in the world though. Sometimes there’s enough value in speaking up and saying “this is messed up” that it’s worth spending some political capital to do it.

But if you’re not comfortable doing that, I’d just ignore some of these instructions. Write a poem that isn’t personal, that doesn’t talk about trauma. Keep it light, and if you’re called out on it, you can say, “I didn’t have anything more personal that I was comfortable sharing in a work setting.”

This seems to be the year that boundary violations at work have gone off the deep end.
dine: (myrna - stubbleglitter)

[personal profile] dine 2022-06-09 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah, no.
I'd just go for the "not a team player" and refuse to play along - so inappropriate, in so many ways
ambyr: a dark-winged man standing in a doorway over water; his reflection has white wings (watercolor by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law) (Default)

[personal profile] ambyr 2022-06-09 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
roses are red
violets are blue
my trauma’s not here
to entertain you
sporky_rat: Orange 3WfDW dreamsheep (Default)

[personal profile] sporky_rat 2022-06-09 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)

Mind if I borrow this for the next time someone pokes me about mine?

ambyr: a dark-winged man standing in a doorway over water; his reflection has white wings (watercolor by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law) (Default)

[personal profile] ambyr 2022-06-09 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Go for it.

I have incidentally once encountered a poetry exercise in corporate life. It was for a professional training on a certain type of administrative procedures, and the workbook had an exercise asking us to compose an acrostic poem as a mnemonic for one of the many impenetrable acronyms.

“Let’s just skip that,” said the instructor when she got to that workbook page, and no one raised a protest. But secretly I was a little sad. I like writing ridiculous doggerel (that has nothing to do with my deeper self).
lethe1: (zombies!)

[personal profile] lethe1 2022-06-09 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
*applauds*
laurajv: Holmes & Watson's car is as cool as Batman's (Default)

[personal profile] laurajv 2022-06-09 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I recently pushed back on a WILDLY uncool group bonding activity and the other person is very much in her feels about it. It's not comfortable. I am currently ignoring her feels but hey! lady! you wanting to do something horribly boundary violating is not ok just because You Meant Well.
fred_mouse: line drawing of sheep coloured in queer flag colours with dream bubble reading 'dreamwidth' (Default)

[personal profile] fred_mouse 2022-06-10 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)

Thank you for doing that. And I'm sorry that they are getting their emotions all over you

ioplokon: purple cloth (Default)

[personal profile] ioplokon 2022-06-09 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
ugh. imo all these activities do is encourage lying and misdirection.
lethe1: (lom: worried)

[personal profile] lethe1 2022-06-09 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Eww. Who comes UP with these sort of ideas!? "Make yourself cry a little", for that person to salivate over?
fred_mouse: line drawing of sheep coloured in queer flag colours with dream bubble reading 'dreamwidth' (Default)

[personal profile] fred_mouse 2022-06-10 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)

I do wonder if malicious compliance would be the way to go here. But then, I have some particularly unusual trauma/childhood experience that I would happily info/'trauma' dump about, because it isn't stuff that I'm necessarily silent on, and will get in to fights on the relevant topic(s).

frenzy: (Default)

[personal profile] frenzy 2022-06-10 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
There a part of me that would go all malicious compliance on this. Oh you want trauma. Well buckle in boys, I'm about to fuck you up. And then youll realize why THIS WAS A BAD IDEA WTF WERE YOU THINKING
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2022-06-11 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
What an appalling idea. I wonder if anyone I'd worked with would have noticed if I'd liberated some backstory from Due South?
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2022-06-11 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
I am from the supply closet
fine-tipped pens and highlighters
I am from the IKEA bag under the desk
stuffed with post-its and painter's tape
I am from the spreadsheet
untitled.xls, untitled(1), untitled(4)final
untitled(4)final_really_truly

I am from the telephone
from your dinnertime
from my nighttime
answering your computer questions.

I am from the five thousand
separate
CSS
sheets
one for each page
one for each endpoint
in the helpdesk software

I am from the wiki
Going to the wiki
Coming from the wiki

I am User:Alunatic/Office
still used ten years later
full of useful links
holding up where the helpdesk crumbles
into little grains
of nonthinking sand
derridian: image of a city with storm clouds behind it (Default)

[personal profile] derridian 2022-06-11 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
Lovely poem :-)