![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I didn’t tell my parents when I broke up with the girl I had been seeing for nearly two years. It was a friendly breakup, but I knew my parents, especially my mom, really liked her, and hoped we would stay together, and maybe even get married.
My mom called me last night and tore into me because she had run into my ex at the mall, and that is how she found out we weren’t together anymore. Not only is my mom disappointed, but she kept telling me how embarrassing it was to find out this way, by asking my ex when she and I would be coming over for dinner again.
Now I feel like a jerk, but I am also a grown man and do not think I have to tell my mommy every detail of my life. Am I wrong here? --- MY OWN BUSINESS
DEAR MY OWN BUSINESS: Yes, as an adult you’re entitled, and expected, to run your own life. But you also have to keep in mind that some aspects of your life spill over into other people’s as well. Not only was it awkward for your mom, but I’m betting it was no picnic for your ex-girlfriend either.
By keeping the breakup from your parents, you really accomplished nothing, because if your concern was upsetting your mom with unwelcome news, not only did she still hear it, but had the extra bonus of being put on the spot in a mutually unpleasant situation with your ex.
The takeaway here is that it’s generally better to break difficult news personally, and in a timely fashion.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2021/11/12
My mom called me last night and tore into me because she had run into my ex at the mall, and that is how she found out we weren’t together anymore. Not only is my mom disappointed, but she kept telling me how embarrassing it was to find out this way, by asking my ex when she and I would be coming over for dinner again.
Now I feel like a jerk, but I am also a grown man and do not think I have to tell my mommy every detail of my life. Am I wrong here? --- MY OWN BUSINESS
DEAR MY OWN BUSINESS: Yes, as an adult you’re entitled, and expected, to run your own life. But you also have to keep in mind that some aspects of your life spill over into other people’s as well. Not only was it awkward for your mom, but I’m betting it was no picnic for your ex-girlfriend either.
By keeping the breakup from your parents, you really accomplished nothing, because if your concern was upsetting your mom with unwelcome news, not only did she still hear it, but had the extra bonus of being put on the spot in a mutually unpleasant situation with your ex.
The takeaway here is that it’s generally better to break difficult news personally, and in a timely fashion.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2021/11/12
no subject
(We do occasionally have heated exchanges of opinion, but over things that both of us consider extremely important, for example some terrible stuff that upon reflection is a little beyond the scope of this comments section, and previously stuff like You Need To Tell Us You're Going Somewhere, Don't Just Disappear With The Car.)
no subject
With my mum it wouldn't be a fight, just exhausting. She really, really, really wants to give advice. And I'm terrible at just saying "sure, mother, whatever," and ignoring her. For the year after my dad died and the year after my sister died I generally put up with all of it for her sake and it was just so exhausting all the time.
I love her! And I respect her! And I know she loves me! But it's just... a lot.
Like I said, emotional laziness.