Dear Abby: Girlfriend Wants Live-In Beau To End His Marriage

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I have been with a man for the last six years. He has been separated for 20 years. When I asked him if he was going to finalize his divorce, he said no. When I said I would like a commitment, he said he gave me one when he moved in five years ago. I said I want more. His wife even asked him for a divorce, but he said it's expensive. I told him by my upcoming 50th birthday I want a yes or no on the divorce. What should I do? -- IN LIMBO IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR IN LIMBO: Assuming this man lives with you rent-free, you have spent the last six years with a houseguest who is more concerned with his net worth than your need for validation. If his wife wanted a divorce, it would have happened already, and the issue of property division could have been bifurcated (separated). Obviously, this arrangement is serving them both in some way. Your next step should be to make a final decision about whether the status quo is acceptable to you, because it isn't going to change.

Comments

[cereta]

Oh my Gooooood, why do women believe this horseshit, over and over and over? I swear, I want to make, "things that should have you slamming the door in a heartbeat" part of the high school curriculum. Item: "Lots of people have HPV!"

[mommy]

I don't hate this advice? And it's from Abby. How odd.

[fox]

When I asked him if he was going to finalize his divorce, he said no.

I told him by my upcoming 50th birthday I want a yes or no on the divorce.

Ma'am?

[minoanmiss]

*facepalms*

[melannen]

The no-longer-new girlfriend wants the divorce to happen. The ex-wife wants the divorce to happen. This sounds like an excellent opportunity for the two of them to team up and fall in love.

(My guess is that if the divorce happens, it will not be just legal expenses, but the ex-wife finally getting money/assets she should have had access to decades ago. But if the current girlfriend and wife team up to get him a quickie for-fault divorce on the basis of obvious adultery I suspect he will be even worse off!)

[bikergeek]

Also, I live in Massachusetts and "separated" is not a thing in Mass. family law:
"Massachusetts doesn’t have a procedure called “legal separation.”"

(https://www.mass.gov/legal-separationseparate-support)