agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married, and my fiance's daughters, 19 and 21, are in the wedding party. I have purchased the dresses they are wearing, which are light and flowing. I have told the girls that on the day of the wedding I do not want them wearing thong underwear. The older one then went to her dad and said she didn't want to wear regular underwear. He told her she could wear whatever she wants. I have tried telling them that as young ladies there are times you don't wear thongs, and under a flowing dress is one of them. It's ONE DAY of their lives. How can I get my point across? -- WISE BRIDE IN PHOENIX

DEAR WISE BRIDE: Explain to your fiance exactly why you are concerned about his daughters wearing thong underwear under their bridesmaid dresses and, when you do, be graphic. After that, if he still feels the same, accept it. Then pray no slip-ups occur while they are dancing, and no strong gusts of wind come along when the wedding photos are taken.

https://www.uexpress.com/life/dearabby/2021/06/17

Threaded | Flat

o.0

While I personally HATE thongs, underwear which is underneath clothes is no one's business except the clothes wearer and maybe their doctor...

I loathe thongs, and still feel like this woman is being inappropriate.

If the dresses aren’t unduly sheer or precariously short (and if they are, why did she pick them?), underwear is not going to be an issue.

This is not the way to treat your partner’s ADULT daughters, but it’s a really good way to start the wedding on a sour, resentful, intrusive note.

Drop it, LW.

1. Legal adults.

2. Adults who are the children of your fiancee.

3. Adult children of your fiancee, in whose future you have an investment (if only as the woman their father has married) and in whose past you have little to no part.

My advice to LW: this is one of those things you just gotta let go.

It occurs to me that if they're habitual thong wearers, they may not have 'regular' undies (or nice ones?), so they're not just being unnecessarily underwear policed, they're being forced to buy yet another thing for a wedding, which tend to be expensive to go to

Okay, maybe I'm being dense, here, but what exactly is the LW's concern over them wearing thongs? Like, Abby mentions strong winds. Okay, well, a windy day + flowing dresses is going to cause problems for outdoor pictures (or anything else) anyway. I say this as someone who wears flowing dresses and skirts pretty much every day.

My first thought was that a “light” dress would be more likely to show panty lines, which is an argument for thongs, not against. I can’t figure out why OP feels otherwise - she chose the dresses, so if she picked something you can’t dance in without the world becoming your gynecologist, or the venue is so windy that ditto, that’s entirely on her.

i'd rather my bare ass be exposed to the world than wear the UNDERWEAR my STEP MOM told me to wear.

I think they should definitely wear boxer briefs and Doc Martens.

weddings. *shakes head* I really hope this is a temprary case of BrideZillaDom on LW's part.

Hem weights.
Or bike shorts.

Are there any other columnists who would not have used this letter as an excuse to scold, mock, or WTF at the LW? Like, for anyone else with an advice column, "Explain to your fiance exactly why you are concerned about his daughters wearing thong underwear under their bridesmaid dresses and, when you do, be graphic" would be an obvious lead in, a la:

Explain to your fiance exactly why you are concerned about his daughters wearing thong underwear under their bridesmaid dresses and, when you do, be graphic. Write back and let us know how the conversation went! We are all waiting with baited breath for his response as to why his spouse, presumably of a different generation than these young women who are only just of legal age, is so concerned with his daughters' nethers. Were you planning on performing inspections? How do you expect to ensure compliance?

'Wear modest undies because everyone will see them with the dresses I picked' is not an argument worth making, LW. Though by all means do tell future hubby why he should only look at his daughters (and probably the rest of his female relatives) from the neck up during the wedding.