minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2020-09-23 03:27 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-09-23 03:27 pm
Entry tags:
Ask a Manager: Coworker Got Angry At My Minor Prank
My coworker got angry at my minor prank.
I am a man and I had a strange incident with a female coworker. We both have had a very playful, joking relationship. We constantly make jokes, playful insults, and talk about a variety of topics, especially when we are in our circle of friends.
One day at work, they were passing out “remain six feet apart” stickers to everyone. As a joke, I placed a strip of tape on one and gently placed it on my coworker’s back. The tape happened to stick pretty firmly after she turned around. Another coworker and a supervisor noticed and smiled. I left the room shorty after. A few minutes later, another coworker texted me and said she had blown up in anger. Using several choice words, she stated, “The next person who touches my body, I will report.”
I went to her later and apologized. I said I didn’t mean anything by it and it will not happen again. She said it was okay but was still very clearly upset. She continued to be in a bad mood the rest of the day and uncharacteristically walked a different way back to our cars than the rest of our group at the end of our day. How can I better handle this? Is this something I should bring to management’s attention?
Whoa, no, this is not something to report. It sounds like she’s fed up with people touching her, as she has a right to be. Apologizing and telling her clearly that you won’t do it again were the right things to do. (And to be clear, putting a sticker on the back of someone you’re friendly with isn’t a major offense during normal times, but violating social distancing to the point of touching someone certainly is during Covid. And even if it were normal times, she’s allowed to want people to stop touching her.)
It’s also worth reflecting on whether you might have unknowingly violated her boundaries in other ways in the past. You might think, “No, we have a fun, joking relationship!” … but it’s not at all uncommon for people to put up with behavior that makes them uncomfortable because they don’t want to cause tension with colleagues, even to the point that they’ll smile/laugh and seem to be enjoying themselves. I have no idea if that’s what’s happening here (maybe she was just in a bad mood that day, or maybe her ire was directed at someone else) but she’s given you a really clear indicator that something in your workplace is going too far for her. It’s worth taking a fresh look at how people’s boundaries are or aren’t being respected in this friend group. (Also, if you’re at all handsy in your joking relationship, assume you should cut that out immediately.)
I am a man and I had a strange incident with a female coworker. We both have had a very playful, joking relationship. We constantly make jokes, playful insults, and talk about a variety of topics, especially when we are in our circle of friends.
One day at work, they were passing out “remain six feet apart” stickers to everyone. As a joke, I placed a strip of tape on one and gently placed it on my coworker’s back. The tape happened to stick pretty firmly after she turned around. Another coworker and a supervisor noticed and smiled. I left the room shorty after. A few minutes later, another coworker texted me and said she had blown up in anger. Using several choice words, she stated, “The next person who touches my body, I will report.”
I went to her later and apologized. I said I didn’t mean anything by it and it will not happen again. She said it was okay but was still very clearly upset. She continued to be in a bad mood the rest of the day and uncharacteristically walked a different way back to our cars than the rest of our group at the end of our day. How can I better handle this? Is this something I should bring to management’s attention?
Whoa, no, this is not something to report. It sounds like she’s fed up with people touching her, as she has a right to be. Apologizing and telling her clearly that you won’t do it again were the right things to do. (And to be clear, putting a sticker on the back of someone you’re friendly with isn’t a major offense during normal times, but violating social distancing to the point of touching someone certainly is during Covid. And even if it were normal times, she’s allowed to want people to stop touching her.)
It’s also worth reflecting on whether you might have unknowingly violated her boundaries in other ways in the past. You might think, “No, we have a fun, joking relationship!” … but it’s not at all uncommon for people to put up with behavior that makes them uncomfortable because they don’t want to cause tension with colleagues, even to the point that they’ll smile/laugh and seem to be enjoying themselves. I have no idea if that’s what’s happening here (maybe she was just in a bad mood that day, or maybe her ire was directed at someone else) but she’s given you a really clear indicator that something in your workplace is going too far for her. It’s worth taking a fresh look at how people’s boundaries are or aren’t being respected in this friend group. (Also, if you’re at all handsy in your joking relationship, assume you should cut that out immediately.)
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May your advice echo in his ears.
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