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agonyaunt2020-01-09 12:02 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-01-09 12:02 pm
Entry tags:
Care & Feeding: So Proud of Your Misdeed
[I thought this one was pretty cute]
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a father of two boys, ages 9 and 5. Instead giving them a traditional allowance, I wrote a little app for their shared tablet that tracks redeemable "points." They get points for doing chores, doing well in educational games, school performance, etc. They can trade them in for money for toys, candy, and other special treats. This worked great for quite some time.
About a week ago, I went on a road trip and came back to my eldest son having about triple the number of points he had when I left. Long story short: He figured out what program I use to edit the app and, thanks to YouTube coding videos, figured out how to award himself points. He has been punished for cheating, but in truth, I am thrilled. He showed incredible drive and ingenuity, and I want to encourage these traits in him. How do I go about praising the good (self-teaching, dedication, learning a new skill) without also rewarding the bad (cheating, hacking)?
—Stanley Jobson Sr. (Apparently)
Dear Mr. Jobson,
That is one of the most impressive kid scams I have ever heard!
This is a great opportunity to talk about why what he did was wrong, and what the impact of those actions, aside from his punishment, has been. You took the time to create something that had meaning for him and his little brother, and he disregarded that meaning by attempting to cheat the system. How did that make you feel inside? Hurt? Sad? Disappointed? Kids need to hear about it when they stir these emotions in their parents. There’s no need for an extended guilt trip, but he should come to understand that parents don’t get upset when kids do mischievous things simply because mischief has occurred.
There’s also a conversation to be had about the value of work. The system is designed in part to help him appreciate what it takes to earn something, and his little stunt ran afoul of that. As you make him aware of just how and why his actions were wrong, you can also make a point to explain how impressive his hacking was and how valuable that skill can be for doing the right thing in the future. You should encourage him to learn more about coding and consider finding ways to help him to continue honing those talents. Good luck, you are gonna need it! Hopefully he is the next Stanley Jobson and will make you wealthy one day.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a father of two boys, ages 9 and 5. Instead giving them a traditional allowance, I wrote a little app for their shared tablet that tracks redeemable "points." They get points for doing chores, doing well in educational games, school performance, etc. They can trade them in for money for toys, candy, and other special treats. This worked great for quite some time.
About a week ago, I went on a road trip and came back to my eldest son having about triple the number of points he had when I left. Long story short: He figured out what program I use to edit the app and, thanks to YouTube coding videos, figured out how to award himself points. He has been punished for cheating, but in truth, I am thrilled. He showed incredible drive and ingenuity, and I want to encourage these traits in him. How do I go about praising the good (self-teaching, dedication, learning a new skill) without also rewarding the bad (cheating, hacking)?
—Stanley Jobson Sr. (Apparently)
Dear Mr. Jobson,
That is one of the most impressive kid scams I have ever heard!
This is a great opportunity to talk about why what he did was wrong, and what the impact of those actions, aside from his punishment, has been. You took the time to create something that had meaning for him and his little brother, and he disregarded that meaning by attempting to cheat the system. How did that make you feel inside? Hurt? Sad? Disappointed? Kids need to hear about it when they stir these emotions in their parents. There’s no need for an extended guilt trip, but he should come to understand that parents don’t get upset when kids do mischievous things simply because mischief has occurred.
There’s also a conversation to be had about the value of work. The system is designed in part to help him appreciate what it takes to earn something, and his little stunt ran afoul of that. As you make him aware of just how and why his actions were wrong, you can also make a point to explain how impressive his hacking was and how valuable that skill can be for doing the right thing in the future. You should encourage him to learn more about coding and consider finding ways to help him to continue honing those talents. Good luck, you are gonna need it! Hopefully he is the next Stanley Jobson and will make you wealthy one day.
no subject
(Caveat: 21st century childhood is a panopticon, so this take of mine is dated and obsolete. But I'm old, so 🤷♀️.)
Also, this take from Care and Feeding is Wrong:
There’s also a conversation to be had about the value of work. The system is designed in part to help him appreciate what it takes to earn something, and his little stunt ran afoul of that.
Um, no. The kid absolutely did work. He had an idea, researched it himself, and implemented the fix, putting it in to production. That's a buttload of work!
What the kid needs to learn is ... well, capitalism. Microeconomics. Barter systems, at any rate. LW has something the kid wants: points. Kid has something LW wants: chores. Barter systems involve trading what you have that someone else wants. The kid can learn that at some other point, they can find someone who might want to barter their computer skills for other things, like a salary, or acclaim in an open source community.
(The point about cheating, on the other hand, is spot on. The kid and the LW had a deal, and the kid attempted to deceive the LW about their fulfillment of the deal. That's lying and corrupt practices, and should be frowned upon.)