conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2019-11-14 12:29 am

Carolyn Hax: If your shiftless fiance won’t take out the trash, put him on the curb

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I love my fiance and until recently thought we had a wonderful partnership. We've lived together for eight years and he makes more money and works longer hours, so I do almost all the housework. He's not only kind and thoughtful but always seemed appreciative of the work I do around the house.

Recently I was hospitalized for two weeks. When I came home I found he had never once walked our dog — just let the poor thing out into our tiny yard, and he didn't clean up. The house was an absolute wreck, he didn't cook or clean anything, left pizza boxes stacked on the counter, and dirty laundry piled on the laundry room floor. I was still recovering and that was kind of a nightmare to come home to.

I asked him why he didn't do anything, and he said he's no good at that stuff and knew I'd want to do it "the right way" when I got back.

We moved in together right out of college so he's never taken care of a place by himself. I asked him if he wanted to learn, but he said he doesn't see a real problem with the shape the house was in. Would you consider this a big enough issue to delay our summer wedding?

— Still in Shock


Still in Shock: Uhhh, yes?

Yes, I would consider it a big enough issue that you’re looking at 100 percent housework for the rest of your life with this man and, worse, his utter comfort with your exerting yourself on your mutual behalf while he does nothing, believing . . . can you hear my print voice rising as I type? . . . it’s a favor to YOU that he does! Right out of your sickbed!

And the poor dog, suffering such neglect. Is it one of those dogs that likes the poop scooped in a certain way that your fiance just isn’t good at?

I was actually leaning sympathetic to the guy at the start, expecting him to have been under duress with you in the hospital and with maybe too much going on at work — and certainly that will stress a partner out significantly. It’s hard to do housework when you’re wearing a groove between your office and a loved one’s hospital room. But “he’s no good at that stuff and knew I’d want to do it ‘the right way’ when I got back”??? A person actually said that!? To a loved one who’s been sick?!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/advice/carolyn-hax-if-your-shiftless-fiance-wont-take-out-the-trash-put-him-on-the-curb/2019/11/11/c44263a2-0264-11ea-8501-2a7123a38c58_story.html
beable: (care cthulhus)

[personal profile] beable 2019-11-14 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
For a more substantial fee they'll learn how to deal with folding fitted sheets

I call shenanigans. Fitted sheets cannot be folded without opening an abyss and summoning deep ones.
xenacryst: clinopyroxene thin section (Death: contemplative)

[personal profile] xenacryst 2019-11-14 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
I didn’t say he’d fold them. I said he’d learn how to deal with folding them. This may well involve learning to deal with powerful forces.
cynthia1960: cartoon of me with gray hair wearing glasses (Default)

[personal profile] cynthia1960 2019-11-14 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Share that lesson please? I hate folding fitted sheets.
fred_mouse: line drawing of sheep coloured in queer flag colours with dream bubble reading 'dreamwidth' (Default)

[personal profile] fred_mouse 2019-11-18 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I fold mine by working into the corners. I'll try and describe, but it is difficult to explain even when I have the person and the sheet. I'll describe for a single bed, because that is easier to learn, but the principle works for bigger.

1. fold in half longwise
2. nest the corners together from each long side - I do this by sticking the corners of the top edge one on each hand, and then wrestle the bottom edge on top.
3. bring the corners together, so that your hands touch through four layers of fabric
4. flip one pair of corners on top of the other pair. The top of the sheet should now be four layers thick, and with a bit of shaking (and maybe grabbing the fold diagonal from the corner you are holding) should sit flat
4. Ignoring the short edge, straighten the long edge so that the skirt of the sheet is sitting flat against the big folded section
5. tidy up the corner so that the short section is also sitting flat. Think of it as folding paper for gift wrapping, if that helps.

At this point, you have something that is sufficiently rectangular that you can fold as if it is. Fold 'inwards' so that the elasticated edges are tucked in to the middle. This is the bit where you have to work out what fits on your shelf, and fudge a bit.

As an extra - I find this easiest to do when taking them off the line, as it enables me to get a good grip on the first two corners. I have no idea how one does it if one is using a dryer.
cynthia1960: cartoon of me with gray hair wearing glasses (Default)

[personal profile] cynthia1960 2019-11-18 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. I do something similar with varying degrees of success after the sheets come out of the dryer.
fred_mouse: line drawing of sheep coloured in queer flag colours with dream bubble reading 'dreamwidth' (Default)

[personal profile] fred_mouse 2019-11-23 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
yes, the 'varying degrees of success' does appear to be part of the process!
cereta: blue clay teapot with tan flowers (teapot)

[personal profile] cereta 2019-11-14 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5k9nWcuFc

It's actually not that hard as long as you can put everything you know about folding out of your head
cynthia1960: cartoon of me with gray hair wearing glasses (Default)

[personal profile] cynthia1960 2019-11-15 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks