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agonyaunt2019-04-22 01:18 pm
lemonsharks) wrote in agonyaunt2019-04-22 01:18 pm
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Dear Prudence: I’m Thinking of Transitioning, but I Don’t Support All LGBTQ Rights
Dear Prudence,
As a recreational cross-dresser, I’m increasingly feeling like I want to transition, which would make me trans and a lesbian. However, I have serious doubts about some “LGBT rights.” I am firmly against allowing trans women to compete in women’s sports. I am against forcing bakers to participate in celebrations that they don’t agree with. I am even sympathetic to concerns about an “LGBT agenda” being pushed on children and parents. On the other hand, I have used the ladies’ restroom while en femme and am grateful for LGBT protections that may make my life easier going forward. I used to think that a middle ground was often good, but now I’m not sure whether such middle grounds are really viable. Would it be wrong to transition while holding lukewarm views on LGBT rights?
—Transitioning While Not Fully Supporting LGBT Rights
I think it’s good to have robust, progressive views on LGBT rights, but they’re not a necessary precondition for transitioning. Caitlyn Jenner is one of the most famous trans women in the world, and she’s rather well-known for her lukewarm views on the subject. If you’re concerned that you may find yourself on the outs with other trans people by espousing these views and therefore may not have the strong community support you need during your transition, then I’d encourage you to spend a little time preparing for how to deal with conflict graciously and respectfully. Perhaps you might spend time learning more about how rights that might not seem desirable or beneficial to you might be so for other members of the community. You are free not to participate in any sports professionally or recreationally, to only patronize the bakers you like, to ignore all children and parents, and generally to sit out the push for any rights you don’t support. It may help for you to think about the causes you do support and find ways to further them, rather than worrying about causes you don’t. If you were to move from having certain private qualms to actively campaigning, say, against an “LGBT agenda being pushed on children” (I’m not quite sure what that would look like—forced calendar updates?), you may very well find your life quite lonely, alienating both transphobes and trans people alike. But none of that would have any bearing on whether you ought to transition. That’s your call to make.
As a recreational cross-dresser, I’m increasingly feeling like I want to transition, which would make me trans and a lesbian. However, I have serious doubts about some “LGBT rights.” I am firmly against allowing trans women to compete in women’s sports. I am against forcing bakers to participate in celebrations that they don’t agree with. I am even sympathetic to concerns about an “LGBT agenda” being pushed on children and parents. On the other hand, I have used the ladies’ restroom while en femme and am grateful for LGBT protections that may make my life easier going forward. I used to think that a middle ground was often good, but now I’m not sure whether such middle grounds are really viable. Would it be wrong to transition while holding lukewarm views on LGBT rights?
—Transitioning While Not Fully Supporting LGBT Rights
I think it’s good to have robust, progressive views on LGBT rights, but they’re not a necessary precondition for transitioning. Caitlyn Jenner is one of the most famous trans women in the world, and she’s rather well-known for her lukewarm views on the subject. If you’re concerned that you may find yourself on the outs with other trans people by espousing these views and therefore may not have the strong community support you need during your transition, then I’d encourage you to spend a little time preparing for how to deal with conflict graciously and respectfully. Perhaps you might spend time learning more about how rights that might not seem desirable or beneficial to you might be so for other members of the community. You are free not to participate in any sports professionally or recreationally, to only patronize the bakers you like, to ignore all children and parents, and generally to sit out the push for any rights you don’t support. It may help for you to think about the causes you do support and find ways to further them, rather than worrying about causes you don’t. If you were to move from having certain private qualms to actively campaigning, say, against an “LGBT agenda being pushed on children” (I’m not quite sure what that would look like—forced calendar updates?), you may very well find your life quite lonely, alienating both transphobes and trans people alike. But none of that would have any bearing on whether you ought to transition. That’s your call to make.
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Seriously. I have the strong feeling that I would have said something like, "Luckily for you, LW, it's possible to be both trans and an absolute bridge troll at the same time."
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