AAM: My boss wants us to go on an all-day rafting trip

[minoanmiss]

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/12/can-i-confiscate-my-coworkers-screaming-monkey-toy-boss-wants-us-to-go-on-all-day-rafting-trip-and-more.html

My company hired a new director (Michelle) a few years ago. Since then, there have been several new managers hired by her who really share her same outgoing personality. That’s not a negative in any way. But since then, I’ve noticed a lot more emphasis on team-building events. Some have been lunchtime learning, while some others border on silliness (like performing a short skit based on random objects). And about a year ago, we were all asked to do an online personality survey and then Michelle coordinated an off-site day where we were coached on the 16 personality types with the emphasis on leveraging success by knowing each other better.

Earlier this month, invites went out for a company sales conference in August. I’ve been here for seven years and this was the first time I ever got included. I’ve been very involved on several successful new product launches over the last three years. Part of the event will be more team-building, coordinated by a group they hired. It turns out that I was assigned to Michelle’s group (she is the team leader). There are about eight of us on the team. Michelle had a conference call to kick things off, and we have to pick a name for our team and submit designs for t-shirts. She also mentioned that we will be doing an all-day rafting trip as a break-out event. I emailed her a few days later to see if I could skip the rafting trip as I am a weak swimmer who is not comfortable around deep water. She replied saying that the event is still four months away and that she’d rather see me focus on how to meet a challenge rather than how to get out of it. She compared it to when she was afraid to do a zip line two years ago, but got through it. I was a bit floored.

My wife, who met Michelle at our holiday party and really likes her, is convinced that Michelle is testing me to see how I react and that is is my opportunity to impress her. With all the changes in our company, I can definitely see myself directly reporting to her someday and don’t want some silly decision to harm my standing. Can you offer your opinion on what you would do?

Personally, I would tell Michelle, “For safety reasons, I won’t be able to participate in this. I’ll plan to spend that day working on X and Y unless you prefer I spend that time differently.” Note that language is telling her that you won’t be participating, not asking her for permission to sit it out. You get to simply state that you’re not participating in something like this.

I’d also consider adding, “There may be other people who have health conditions that make participating iffy, and I’d love to see us pick a more inclusive activity.” Because that’s true — an all-day rafting trip is a big deal and there are a whole bunch of conditions people shouldn’t have to disclose to get out of that, including things she’s probably not even thinking about, like IBS.

(The last sentence, which I didn't c&p, is a list of relevant links to other entries.)

Comments

[minoanmiss]

My wife, who met Michelle at our holiday party and really likes her, is convinced that Michelle is testing me to see how I react and that is is my opportunity to impress her. W

So many story ideas, so little time! LW, if your wife or Michelle provide your swim vest, double check it for rocks, lead weights, and absorbent materials!

[lilysea]

Hahahahahahahahaha

[dissectionist]

As someone who loves rafting, there’s zero way I’d be able to do an all-day rafting trip. There’s a huge difference between an hour-long rafting outing and an all-day rafting trip. The former is intended for anyone comfortable trying rafting or doing it briefly. The latter is intended for fit people who are proficient at paddling and capable of holding that body position and paddling for hours. Few people fit into the latter category.

[lethe1]

That is incredibly irresponsible on Michelle's part. Nobody should be coerced into activities like this.

[cereta]

I was going to say, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[raine]

Very. And white water rafting companies usually have waivers and physicality minimums - did Michelle think that everyone was going to be able to go?

[topaz_eyes]

I'd think, if the emphasis was truly "team building" here, that the entire team would decide together what activities become part of the break-out event. As in, activities all members can do together safely.

Many years ago, my spouse almost drowned when we went all-day rafting. The raft hit some rapids, dropped, and shot out from under him. I'm concerned how Michelle is forcing everyone to participate, when the event is a bona fide health and safety hazard. LW is right to refuse to participate in a hazardous work-related activity. LW needs to go over Michelle's head to HR about this, and frame it entirely around safety and liability reasons for the good of the team. Unfortunately, if he does this, Michelle will probably kick LW off the team, if not try to get him fired. Good luck to LW--I'd also suggest he brush up his resume.

[mrissa]

Ours is not a dueling culture, you don't just get to "challenge" people to do something they have no interest in doing that is not relevant to anything they have agreed to do and that makes it a requirement and/or a failing on their part if they don't.

[movingfinger]

People die rafting every year. In the 80's, five executives died on a rafting trip in BC.

I would not go, but even so I would be asking a lot of questions about insurance, liability, and medical evacuation arrangements. And perhaps bringing up the company's hit-by-a-bus arrangements to cover employees' work.

[bikergeek]

And about a year ago, we were all asked to do an online personality survey and then Michelle coordinated an off-site day where we were coached on the 16 personality types

Sixteen personality types? Dollars to dogshit this was Myers-Briggs, and MBTI is about as accurate as the horoscopes in the newspaper.

Also would YOU answer a non-anonymous "personality survey" at work honestly? Knowing that what most workplaces want is extroverted, cheerful rule-followers?

[raine]

No, the new height of fashion is the CliftonStrengths Finder. I've taken better ones that said "here's how your coworker likes to organize their tasks", which is infinitely more useful, not "these are your best qualities and weaknesses."

[cimorene]

Counterpoint - I was at a supposed career planning and job seeking course two weeks ago and several hours were dedicated to Meyers-Briggs.