Update: Ask a Manager: Mess At Work

[minoanmiss]

We've had an update

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/04/update-i-manage-a-terrible-slob-how-can-i-convince-her-upset-coworker-that-im-handling-it.html

Notable notes from the update:
1) Susie was pregnant/had a new baby during this situation
2) Susie was offered to WFH (though this seems not to fit her needs)
3) Sally is having mental health issues and will go on leave.

Notable notes from the commentary:

Susie is the worst/the real problem/the only one doing anything wrong, because she gets upset/cries/cries about the overall situation on a day when there is not an urgent mess.

Comments

[julian]

Link to original AgonyAunt post.

I am glad Sally is going on leave. And I'm also glad Susie clued in to the behind the scenes work going on.

[minoanmiss]

I guess. I just found it all depressing because so many commenters said Susie was worse than Sally/Susie was the real problem/Susie was HORRIBLE because Susie got upset enough to cry (while pregnant and newly postpartum no less, which can affect a person's emotional regulation and levels of cope). I expect someone to say Susie should be fired for causing the problems before the discussion is over. People just seem to loathe women who cry.

[ashbet]

Uggghhhh — as someone who has never made it through a work evaluation without crying (I told my boss to please ignore it, that it’s just a physiological stress reaction), I find this attitude horrifying.

I can control my behavior, but I can’t control involuntary tears!!!

(I also have RSD like whoa, but that’s my problem, not theirs.)

[melannen]

....okay, "paint" answered all my questions about hour-long cleanup in shared spaces in one word.

(There are a lot of other bits of info in this update that help clarify things too!)

[sushiflop]

A pox on the AskAManager commenters as a collective tbh.

[julian]

I mean. Even in situations with a good commentariat, which I am told AAM has, there are things where the commentariat will not mesh with your perspective.

And this is a thing which has actually materially harmed you in the past and for that matter now.

So: discussions of crying at work/women crying at work: a Problem for you. Also, for me, because it infuriates me that people are so casually dismissive and... Everything. Which is why I was trying to focus on the positive outcome, not the commentariat fulfilling my expectations of them. (Alas.)

Because Susie Is Right, Darnit.