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DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been in the Maintenance Stage of my addiction recovery program for almost three years. It was a hard road for me and my family, and I am working hard to stay clean and never again abuse my family or myself.
My mom and dad have been great. Same for my older sister and her husband. I have an uncle, though, who I was always close to all the time I was growing up and right up until the time I was lying to and stealing from my family and friends to first cover up and then support my addiction.
He came one time to see me when I was in my third rehab. He barely talked to me and left after only a few minutes. Since then he avoids me if we run into each other at someone in the family’s house or out in public.
It hurts like hell that he won’t accept that I am clean, working hard to stay that way, and could really use his forgiveness and support.
What more can I do to have him accept me back into his life, or at least to allow me to make peace with him? --- MISSING MY UNCLE
DEAR MISSING MY UNCLE: This is a topic best tackled within your recovery program. However, my guess is that your uncle is still dealing with any pain and disappointment he started feeling because of your addiction, and I’m not sure there’s a way to force him to accept you back into his life.
By staying your course of remaining drug-free, perhaps he’ll be willing to meet you halfway at some point in the future, but that’s an outcome that’ll only come with time and patience.
You’ve already made it to the three year mark, and that’s no small achievement.
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My mom and dad have been great. Same for my older sister and her husband. I have an uncle, though, who I was always close to all the time I was growing up and right up until the time I was lying to and stealing from my family and friends to first cover up and then support my addiction.
He came one time to see me when I was in my third rehab. He barely talked to me and left after only a few minutes. Since then he avoids me if we run into each other at someone in the family’s house or out in public.
It hurts like hell that he won’t accept that I am clean, working hard to stay that way, and could really use his forgiveness and support.
What more can I do to have him accept me back into his life, or at least to allow me to make peace with him? --- MISSING MY UNCLE
DEAR MISSING MY UNCLE: This is a topic best tackled within your recovery program. However, my guess is that your uncle is still dealing with any pain and disappointment he started feeling because of your addiction, and I’m not sure there’s a way to force him to accept you back into his life.
By staying your course of remaining drug-free, perhaps he’ll be willing to meet you halfway at some point in the future, but that’s an outcome that’ll only come with time and patience.
You’ve already made it to the three year mark, and that’s no small achievement.
Link
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(Not sure where people are getting that the uncle preferred the LW as an addict, since the LW clearly says that their uncle bailed as soon as it became obvious they had a problem.)