Dear Abby: For Mom Rewriting Her Will, Time With Her Kids Is Money

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my narcissistic husband after our children were raised. Over the years, I have tried to have a relationship with all of my children and their families.

When I asked one of them for a three-day weekend with her children, she texted me saying they all had a lot going on. Then she added, "Maybe next year." I may not be here next year!

I know she may never read this, but it doesn't matter to me if it will help someone who does read it. I have decided to change my will. If I'm not worth my children's time, they don't deserve my money. Your thoughts? -- WORTHLESS UP NORTH

DEAR WORTHLESS: Could it be possible that your daughter and her family are actually busy? Not knowing how you raised your children, it's hard to render an opinion, but from your reaction, you appear to have a troubled relationship with this daughter. Rather than disinherit her, try to find out what motivated her to text what she did so fences can be mended. If that's not possible, then you have every right to reallocate your assets as you wish.

Comments

[zaracat]

"the first thing she says in that letter IS that her ex was a narcissist, and it's not relevant to the rest of the letter (unless it was edited for publication) and I think that means something, although I don't know exactly what"

It comes across as pre-emptively displaying her "I'm not a narcissist myself" credentials. So that any suggestion in the comments that her kids are reacting to a history of parental emotional abuse can be dismissed with a wave of "oh that was all down to their father". And the whole woe is me "worthless" sign-off: covert narcissist playing the victim?

Maybe I've just spent too much time reading practically identical letters on parental estrangement forums like the ones described about on ths site: http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/