agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR ABBY: One of my dear friends is Christian. She knows I'm Jewish. I don't expect her to acknowledge many of the Jewish holidays because I'm sure she's unfamiliar with them. However, Hanukkah is ubiquitous, and it would be nice if she would wish me a "Happy Hanukkah."

Every year, she wishes me a "Merry Christmas," buys me a Christmas gift and a Christmas card. She's a truly nice person, and I don't think she's deliberately being dismissive or insensitive. I have mentioned this to her several times over the years, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Without insulting her or seeming ungrateful, how can I let her know this bothers me? -- OBSERVANT IN OHIO

DEAR OBSERVANT: If she's a dear friend, she's not likely trying to upset you. A month before the beginning of Hanukkah this year, "remind" her that you do not celebrate the Christian holiday of Christmas. It should allow her enough time to find a suitable card for you. If she forgets after that, do not exile her into the wilderness, but forgive her.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearabby/s-2827119

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Sure but I guess I am saying that I think her expectations are a bit outside the norm so it's not surprising that her friend doesn't remember. I don't think anyone has ever wished me or my parents a happy Diwali without a direct prompt which suggests it is outside the norm.

By prompt I mean if I have mentioned it first or brought diwali sweets into the office.

It's your right to be offended by whatever but I think you're just going to be offended all the time if you live in a majority Christian country and take offence at a Christmas card/happy Christmas. It's not so much that I am "ok with it" as just don't have the enthusiasm to be offended for the whole of December

Edited 2023-06-05 15:27 (UTC)

But LW isn't upset about everybody wishing them a Merry Christmas. They're upset about a "dear friend" doing it despite being reminded not to.

Also, we have no idea if this friend is giving LW secular Christmas cards with Santa and reindeer - slightly problematic but probably not intentionally offensive - or straight up Jesus ones - which is just no.