What a jerk.

[conuly]

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a gentleman should, I offer my wife the first choice when there are two of something left. For example: "Dear wife, we have two tomatoes left. Would you prefer the red or the yellow?"

Her response invariably is, "Either one is fine. I have no preference."

I contend that this is rude, and that proper etiquette would dictate that she choose one, rather than deferring the decision back to me. What say you?

GENTLE READER: That Miss Manners, like your wife, has no preference in the matter.

Knowing this, you might spare your wife the decision and just take the one you want. But other spouses, beware: Not everyone will appreciate this kind of brazen tomato decisiveness. It usually takes only one such violation to find that out.

https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2022/12/16/2

Comments

[lethe1]

Nothing could turn me off tomatoes, but I would be turned off someone who considered my leaving the decision to him rude. And should there really be proper etiquette between spouses? I thought that was more for acquaintances and other third parties, not for people you are close with.

[conuly]

I think you're using a definition of "proper etiquette" that Miss Manners, among others, does not subscribe to.

It's true that you'll likely act less formally with people you're close to - but that's because the proper etiquette calls for less formal behavior, not because there's no such thing as proper etiquette.